Forbes Released Its 10 Highest Paid Actresses And You Won’t BELIEVE Who’s #1 (It’s Sandra Bullock)

Forbes has released its list of ten highest paid actresses, and you won’t believe who’s number one – it rhymes with “Blandra Bullock.”

Upon a second reading, it appears that not only have I given away the number 1 highest paid actress in 2013, but I also kind of called her bland which was not my intention. Perhaps Blandra Blullock is not the most inventive code name of all time (if I had it to do over again, my hint would have been “her last name is homophone for a British word meaning a single testicle”), but I doubt she’ll mind the accidental nickname as she is apparently made $51 million in 2013 according to Forbes. That is 1000 times more money than the average American worker, or, for me, over 5 million blog posts (JK, lol, totes kidding you guys. Hahahahaha!) But I suppose this is a fair amount of money being that Sandy Bully’s Gravity grossed over $500 million at the worldwide box office, and was probably the only Hollywood film I’ve seen that was actually worthy of an IMAX viewing. Here is the complete top 10 list as reported on Slashfilm:

Forbes’ 2013 Top Earning Actresses

  1. Sandra Bullock – $51 million
  2. Jennifer Lawrence – $34 million
  3. Jennifer Aniston – $31 million
  4. Gwyneth Paltrow – $19 million
  5. Angelina Jolie – $18 million
  6. Cameron Diaz – $18 million
  7. Scarlett Johansson – $17 million
  8. Amy Adams – $13 million
  9. Natalie Portman – $13 million
  10. Kristen Stewart – $10 million

Jennifer Lawrence took second place on the list, earning $34 million and narrowly besting Jennifer Aniston, AKA Blennifer Blandiston (intentionally calling her bland), by $3 million. Blandiston was number 10 on the Forbes list in 2012, and number 3 in 2011, and probably in the top 10 each year since the dawn of time. I’m starting to suspect that Hollywood pays her $10 million a year just for existing. Or maybe it’s a romantic comedy retainer fee. Or maybe that’s just how much it costs to do maintenance on her gears, CPU, and hydraulics system (cuz she’s a robot. A really really hot sex robot.) I’ll bet you the entire amount of money that I’ll make from writing this blog post that she tops the list again in 2014. Anyone willing to bet against that is definitely going to lose two figures worth of money (before taxes.)