Fox News: The Muppets is a liberal plot!

Ugh. Everything about this story makes me tired. Liberal or conservative, cable news is a pus-spewing fistula on the asshole of society. 90% of it is coming up with a new asinine thought experiment for dickheads to argue about to fill up the next 24 hours of air time. It’s either Woody Hayes Paige (whoops!) shouting at ten other talking heads about whether the Broncos defense is overrated on ESPN or these idiots, it’s all the same. Fox News’ latest segment? Discussing whether Chris Cooper’s greedy oil baron, Tex Richman, in The Muppets, was all part of Hollywood’s sinister master plan to brainwash your children against petroleum-based job creators. WORTHWHILE ARGUMENT! A+ FOR CONSTRUCTIVENESS!

Assorted quotes:

“Is liberal Hollywood using class warfare to brainwash our kids?”

“Yeah, absolutely, and they’ve been doing it for decades.”

“You’ll see all these movies attacking the oil industry, none of them reminding them what oil means for most people. Which is fuel to light a hospital, or heat your home, or maybe fuel an ambulance to get you to the hospital.”

“It’s brainwashing in the most obvious form! I just wish liberals could leave little kids alone!”

“Just a couple months ago there was a starving muppet, the hungry muppet… But if you look out there, we’ve got Medicade, there’s food stamps, there’s SJIP, we have WIC — there’s all these programs out there to take care of hungry kids, why would that Muppet be starving?”

“Maybe they should have the hungry muppets, the food-stamp muppet, and have the evil person be Obama. “

At this point, getting angry at these people is like yelling at the heel in pro wrestling. I don’t think The Muppets is an attempt to indoctrinate the liberal agenda any more than I think Knocked Up was secret pro-life propaganda (and yes, there are actually people who will claim this). People are way too stupid for that level of guile. Need proof? Watch cable news.