Funny Headline #2: Justin Timberlake to get balled by a Marine

07.18.11 7 years ago 17 Comments

Oh, Justin, don’t you know accepting a Marine’s invitation to ball can lead only to heartbreak and inflatable butt pillows? I should know, I used to live with Uproxx’s own combat veteran, Matt Ufford (he was gentle, but that’s rare). But yeah, the story is that a girl Marine (*RECORD SCRATCH*), following her male counterpart’s example who asked Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball, made her own video asking Justin Timberlake to be her date, and he has accepted.

“I don’t feel backed into a corner at all,” Timberlake joked when asked by a reporter whether he would go. “I’ll tell you what, I accept. But not because she shouted out one of my songs, which I do love … and not because she had all those beefcake military guys behind her to try to intimidate me, although that probably would have worked by itself.
“I don’t get asked out, ever, so I was very flattered by that,” he said, calling it an “honor.”
Timberlake had played a pivotal role in convincing Kunis to accept Sgt. Scott Moore’s YouTube invitation to the Marine Corps Ball. Then enter Cpl. Kelsey De Santis [YES, ENTER HER, JUSTIN! YAY, DOUBLE DOUBLE ENTENDRE!].
“So, Justin, you want to call out my girl Mila. Well, I’m going to call you out and ask you to come to the Marine Corp Ball with me on Nov. 12 in Washington, D.C.,” De Santis said in her own video invite. De Santis is currently the only woman serving at the Martial Arts Center for Excellence at Marine Corps Base Quantico. [FoxNews]

Timberlake went on to say “If my schedule works out, I’ll do it. I’d love to do it.” Whatever, dude, people will work around your schedule. You’re Justin Timberlake, not a heart surgeon. Meanwhile, despite some conflicting reports, Mila Kunis has said several times now that she’s accepting her invitation. If this works out without anyone getting date raped, it could set a fine precedent. While I’m not a Marine myself, I can do almost ten push-ups. But so far, my requests to motorboat Diora Baird have fallen on deaf ears. Come on, baby, don’t be such a prude, your country needs you.


Here’s the associated videos. I get the feeling this chick could kick Timberlake’s ass, and not just because he’s wearing a vest. Though that certainly plays a part.

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