The New He-Man Will Feature A Lot Of Dancing

Color me shocked and ashamed on this one, but I had no clue that there’s a new He-Man movie in development. Currently Masters of the Universe, the project began with a screenplay entitled Grayskull, and the guy who wrote The Mechanic and The Expendables 2 (I’d pay a million dollars to watch an Expendables film be written) is attached to write the story of one of the most baffling toy lines of my childhood.

Seriously, how did nobody know that Prince Adam was He-Man. THEY’RE IDENTICAL! Even Clark Kent gave people a little credit and wore glasses. I know it’s not a big deal but even as a child this made me so angry. But I digress. Dig me out of this nerd hole, Variety.

Sony Pictures and Escape Artists will continue tapping the hot hand of scribe Richard Wenk (“The Equalizer”), who will rewrite He-Man pic “Masters of the Universe.”

Jon M. Chu is set to direct the live-action film based on the popular Mattel toy line.

Story follows a young prince who becomes a warrior and sets out to defeat the evil Skeletor and fulfill his destiny as He-Man.

I’ve always been sort of surprised that a He-Man reboot never happened after the 1987 mess that shared the name of this new version (seriously, what was up with that hairy dwarf?), but then you should never try to recreate any Dolph Lundgren movie, because they’re all perfect. Still, I’m confused about a couple things.

1) Is there a dumber name for a cartoon or comic book character than He-Man?

Mattel CEO Ray Wagner: “Hey Steve, we’ve got this new character about a hulked up prince who can transform into an equally hulked up magical warrior and he battles against evil monsters that are under the control of a talking skeleton. You got any ideas for a name?”

Steve: “He… Man?”

It’s important to know that Steve is Ray’s toddler son in this imagined brainstorming session.

2) Why Jon Chu? Are Hollywood producers so amazed by Step Up 2, Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never and The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers that they’re willing to hand over what should be a Transformers-level franchise to a guy whose only action experience is the already doomed G.I. Joe: Retaliation?

Honestly, I would not be surprised if we’re about to see the live action version of this: