Pretty Girl Makes Graves
“In a world… where TRIPODS have become obsolete… and SHAKY CLOSEUPS ruled the land… TWO ATTRACTIVE ACTORS did stuff and blah blah blah TWILIGHT.”
Okay, so that’s not exactly the plot, but close enough. 70-some years ago, in some vaguely-defined dystopian future, the “districts” rebelled against the “Capitol,” and every year since, one boy and one girl from each district are chosen to FIGHT TO THE DEATH in the Capitol because Running Man. But first, they must undergo a vaguely-sexual, co-ed boot camp because Starship Troopers, where they learn that winning the audience is just as important as fighting, because Gladiator. This is known as “The Hunger Games.”
Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) lives in District 12, where she divides her time between daydreaming about escaping a vaguely defined “they” with her boyfriend, and hunting in the forbidden forest with her bow. She seems to be the head of the household, as her dad’s dead, her mom’s catatonic, and her useless crybaby sister does nothing but cry. Primrose has just turned 12, the first year she’ll be eligible for The Hunger Games lottery, and she’s convinced that she’ll be picked. Katniss gives her a charm, a “mocking J pin,” whose importance seems to have gotten lost somewhere between the book and movie, telling her that as long as she holds onto it, “nothing bad can happen.”
TAKE THIS. IT'S IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING.
The next day, District 12’s teenagers assemble in the town square for “the reaping,” where emcee Elizabeth Banks shows up looking like a fop from revolutionary France.
"LET THEM EAT CAKE OR WHATEVER!"
She draws the first name, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s Prim. DAMN YOU, COSMICALLY SADISTIC PRE-ORDAINED RANDOM LOTTERY! Katniss volunteers to go in her place, knowing her useless crybaby of a sister would probably just cry some more until she died. As Katniss is being led away, Prim gives her the pin back, even though any rational person would’ve conclude that that thing was f*cking cursed by now. Fop lady chooses District 12’s boy — Peeta Mellark (no, not “Peter,” all the boys have girl names in the future), a human Spielberg face whose only skill seems to be luring flies with his constantly-open mouth.
HURRRRRR I WORK AT A BAKERY HURRR DURRR
The hard-scrabble district dwellers condemned to Russian Roulette are first treated like celebrities, transported to the Capitol via bullet train, feted with their favorite food, and put up in swanky rooms (this is the one semi-interesting wrinkle Hunger Games adds to the condemned-fight-to-the-death plot borrowed from so many other sources). It’s like American Idol meets all those other movies I already said.
Reaching the Capitol, everyone is super rich and gay and looks like Perez Hilton, and it’s there that they meet FUTUREBEARD.
FUTUREBEARD: THE BEARD OF THE FUTURE
But first, they have to get makeovers from Lenny Kravitz, who must know fashion because he’s wearing gold eyeliner. We’re told that it’s very important that the contestants win sponsors (SPOILER ALERT: it turns out not to be that important) and Lenny Kravitz says he’s got just the plan to make District 12 stand out: a flaming chariot for the entrance ceremony. The flaming audience loves it, dubbing Katniss “The Girl on Fire.” She keeps it real on Stanley Tucci’s talk show, shoots an apple out of a pig’s mouth at FUTUREBEARD’S dinner party, and pretty soon she’s the odds-on favorite and everyone loves her. Meanwhile, Peeta displays exactly two skills besides mouth breathing: super strength (which is hilarious because he’s 140 pounds), which he developed throwing sacks of flour at THE BAKERY, and the ability to, um… paint his arm so that it looks like a tree. “I used to decorate cakes at THE BAKERY!” he says. (I promise it doesn’t make sense in the movie either).
"I will make you pretty like me." -Lenny Kravitz
Just when it looks like this shaky bore of a movie might be groping towards some kind of point (URBAN HIPSTERS! RURAL RUBES! REALITY TV!), the games start. All you need to know about the games is this: cute black kids = friends. White kids with spiky hair = bad guys.
Also, Josh Hutcherson disguises himself as a rock, because OF COURSE he’s a master of disguise, he used to decorate cakes at THE BAKERY, remember? Soon, Katniss and Mouth-Breather get caught up in a whirlwind romance when it’s decided at the last minute that this movie needs a romance. Katniss sparks a mini-rebellion in one of the districts (because of her compassion? I guess?), which really pisses off FUTUREBEARD, and finally, the Games culminate in a blurry, chopped-up fight sequence where everything happens off camera. Hey, Gary Ross, if you’re not going to show me anything, why don’t I just fast-forward to the end and you tell me what happened?
THRILLING
The film basically ends with all these partially-developed storylines still to be determined, giving you the vague sense that perhaps there was a point, but that you’ll have to watch the next film to find out what it was. You mean I just sat through two hours of shaky blandness with no payoff? I CAN’T WAIT TO DO THIS AGAIN!
This is supposedly “better than Twilight,” and to the extent that the actors are better (Jennifer Lawrence is fantastic, no one’s arguing that), the characters negligably more likable, and the story less ridiculous, that’s true. But here’s the thing: for all her naivete, weird Mormon sexual hang-ups and third-grade writing ability, Stephenie Meyer at least had an earnest idea. There was a story she got wrapped up in before there was ever the promise of making money. The Hunger Games feels like a transparent money-making scheme where the driving force of the narrative is “well this is what the kids like, right?” Nothing wrong with making money, but there’s a big difference between writing for yourself and writing to please some fuzzy composite of a teenager. (I CALL IT ‘THE LITTLE SKATEBOARD WHO TWEETED!’)
I’ll take uniquely stupid over slick and bland any day. And for God’s sake, buy a goddamned tripod.
Isn’t that right, Lenny Kravitz?
Listen to Lenny Kravitz. He’s a cool dude.
GRADE: C-
Heh. So the badge is of a Mocking Jay- the birds that feature later on in the movie, and the title of the third book.
Given that the rest of the books aren’t really much to do with the Hunger Games themselves, the movie was always going to be in an odd place. And hey, at least they didn’t do a massive “movie ends with a blatant plug for the sequel” scene. *That* would have been the massive money grab.
Sarcasm, I hope?
Instead they did a “this whole movie is a blatant plug for the sequel” scene. It was a 2.5 hour sequel setup.
I was “Hungry” for this movie to “end”!
Wow and 21 jump street is a must see.
Yes, 21 Jump Street is much better than The Hunger Games. 100%.
I hatted 21 Jump Street so much, It starts out as a edgy tongue in check comedy that very deliberately makes fun of the normal cliches in comedy possible. Seriously why would the chick still like, let alone make out with, “skinny” Jonah Hill after he almost get’s her killed.
21 Jump Street was great.
Labeasy, Rihanna can probably answer your question.
why would anyone ever make out with fat or skinny jonah hill is better question. that seems like a plot hole IMHO.
Is this where I’m supposed to argue and stan hard for the series? Because I’m really tired right now and I’m not seeing it until this weekend anyway.
I’m getting too old for this fangirling.
See, Vince? tyBoo even went back in time to prove Him right!!!
*shakes gauntleted fist at refresh button*
Eh. It’s not like I’m a paragon of great taste.
I might as well get mad at y’all for not being interested in Kate Spade’s spring collection.
Um, you should be mad. It’s ADORABLE!
Mancini said something slightly complimentary about Twilight…someone call the psych ward, we’ve got incoming.
Get ready for the Geekgirl backlash, again!
HE ONLY HATES IT BECAUSE IT’S FOR GIRLS. OMG SEXISM PATRIARCHY BUT PLEASE TREAT ME LIKE A GODDESS BECAUSE I’M A COOL GIRL WHO LIKES NERDY THINGS AND THAT MAKES ME UNIQUE.
where’s the tranny porn, Fek?
In the mass grave with the rest of the trannies, Mew!
Ironically, the one ‘power’ I’d believe BAKERY-boy having would be to use his mastery of ingredients to make himself sparkle.
So I never read the books, so my opinion is 100% based on the movie.
If this was rated R and the fighting scenes were directed by someone who wasn’t known for Pleasantville, it would have been a good movie.
You’re review is just total shit. So the movie sucks because they used shaky cam for a couple bad fight scenes but Chronical was a B+ because of what?
Because Chronicle was about some of the feelings people have in high school and the kinds of friendships they make. The Hunger Games is about people running from stuff.
But I agree that non horribly-filmed fight scenes would’ve improved it immensely, since it was relying so heavily on those for drama.
And New Years Eve was about complex interpersonal relationships in a major metropolitan area. Doesn’t mean it was executed well.
Yes, execution is important. Wait, you’re arguing FOR the super blurry shaky cam movie with all the plot threads that went nowhere? I’m confused.
It’s also about children killing children which pretty much trumps anything ever created. C – is much too low. It’s a B at worst.
It wasn’t an awesome movie. it was Solid. I thought it was interesting but 15 minutes of shaky cam and a couple awful fight scenes didn’t kill it for me, as much make me wish an actual action director was involved in this.
But it is a trilogy (which they will turn the last one into 2 movies, which is the worst trend ever) So i knew i wasn’t going to get every answer i wanted, since i don’t read books anymore and wont read these ones.
Where Chronicle was just shit in a first person camera movie (second worst trend in movies)
Well I did give it a C, not an F. Kids killing kids would’ve been great, but you hardly saw any of it. Remember when Chloe Moretz was killing people in Kick-Ass? That shit was awwwwwesome.
“It’s also about children killing children which pretty much trumps anything ever created”
So was the Kony 2012 video. LOGIC BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This movie sucked because in the end, nothing effing happened. The world is not changed at all except for those black dudes rioted and 22 kids are dead.
“But it is a trilogy (which they will turn the last one into 2 movies, which is the worst trend ever) So i knew i wasn’t going to get every answer i wanted,”
Then just start at the 2nd one, do a star wars scroll that says ‘last year these 2 dudes won a tournament and got some prize. don’t ask about what the prize was” and then start the movie.
The movie was stupid. Character development stops at the first chance they get to show off their art direction. As soon as she gets to the big city, it’s just a chain of dialogue forcing the plot along and cramming elements from the book in. What was the point of Lenny Kravitz? We get introduced to this character who is the first adult to show actual human emotions. You get the feeling she has an ally against these evil government people. But then he starts helping her participate and then goes away.
Also, wasn’t it supposed to be a big deal that she chose a bow? I never read the book but I heard people explain to me that her archery was what made her weird or something. I assumed that it was because she was shafting kids with arrows while everyone else was gunning fools down with lasers or pistols. (read: Battle Royale) But instead they have gay axes and swords. Of course she took the fucking bow. Why does no one else think of that? Why were they worried that there might not even be a bow? Is is too archaic?
This movie was stupid. I get that it appeals to teenage girls. It reminded me heavily of Twilight.
There are no guns in the games, they kill too quickly. Basically they want everyone to go Joker style and carve each other up with swords and shit.
They probably only had a bow in there because the main girl knew how to use one. It would spice things up watching her try to get that above all the other weapons and if she did get it, watching someone master that weapon as they mowed peopled down would be good television.
The biggest drawback of the movie was the terrible character development. If I wouldn’t have read the book I would have been insanely lost.
To be completely honest, the book wasn’t that great in the first place. Super enjoyable, but due to the fact that I will read or watch anything post apocalyptic and or dystopian. And I think the film suffered from some of the shortfalls in the book. The biggest example of this is the other kids who are involved. There are 24 tributes in the book/movie. We get to know two pretty well and four others kind of well.
Also, I think the Twilight comparisons, both book wise and movie wise fall terribly flat. In the post Twilight/Harry Potter era, I think it is easy, and lazy, to label things as “money grabbing” for lack of a better term. Yes there are a lot of young adult super natural fiction out there with no point. But I think the book has much more real issues in it. This isn’t some hokey little teenybopper romance with some secret message in it. Twilight doesn’t deal with things like your father dying and you taking on his mantle as head of the household. And I have a hard time imagining that setting a book in a future where everything blows us a great ploy for raking in the money. Additionally, Collins has been a writer for young adult TV shows and wrote other young adult novels before the first Twilight book had even been published. However, I do feel that anytime there is any hype about a new YA novel, it is going to be compared to Twilight, no matter what kind of sincerity the author had about writing it. As for the movie, has it been done with Twilight in mind, probably. But then again, the Twilight movie routinely got terrible reviews but made lots of money.
I liked the movie, but again, anything that takes place in a shitty future with kids trying to kill one another, sign me up.
It really freaks me out how adults get super obsessed with novels aimed at 14 year olds. Like, really?
Totally agree. As the only other apparently sane person here maybe you can help me out. I’m trying to find a way to make it so that the felt vagina I’m working on is obviously Katniss’. The last thing I want people to think is that I have TWO Bella felt vaginas on my mantle, I mean can you IMAGINE!??
On a related note, I’m looking for a Hardy Boys reboot. Better not screw up and cast Chet as a skinny guy…
Apparently it’s a mockingjay. “Mocking J” was a short-lived Sesame Street letter-character, known for his streetwise attitude and cutting wit. He was fired after he made Maria cry by insinuating that she was only employed because she was schtupping Snuffalupagus.
Schtuppalupagush?
Vince, you do realize that it was the sponsors that parachuted the soup and medicine for Katniss when she desperately needed it, right? So….sponsors are kiiiinda important.
*steps off nerd soap box. Trips. Bends wookie*
Oh…uh…spolier alert…I guess..
Yeah. ONCE. DURING THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE.
I do remember feeling like they were more utilized in the book than the movie.
*GRRRRRR* MANLY STUFF!!!
1. They gave her medicine to heal her burns from the forest fire
2.They gave Peeta soup
3. They gave them the goop to fix Peeta’s leg
Although I will agree with you on the shaky cam. I got Bourne Supremacy flashbacks from that thing.
Still thinking of sponsors in the “This message brought to you by…” sense, I envisioned Campbell’s spending a buttload of money to airdrop soup in the middle of the movie. Plot-driven product placement!
Remember the part where the trainer lady says most people die from starvation or infection? Then once the teenage deathmatch started none of that happened and needing to find food was never mentioned again.
Also I’m pretty sure I remember in the book Haymich uses the sponsors gift’s to send messages. In the book’s she’s damn near dying of thirst and uses deductive reasoning as the reason she’s not getting water as a gift is because she realizes there must be a water source close to her or else Haymitch would send her water as he already demonstrated she has sponsors. Also in the book the love story is, in katniss’s position completely fabricated. She’s assuming that she’s think’s she’s going to have to kill Petta and Petta will try to kill her. In the begining Petta gets in with the “cool” group so she thinks he’s just playing her with all the affection. However when she flirt’s with him Haymitch sends a small pretty meaningless gift that I think was a small loaf of bread. She realizes this isn’t substantial and she wasn’t very hungry so she assumes it’s Haymitch sending her a message to keep up the flirting to sell the audience.
Little known fact: Shaky-Cam was accidentally invented by Stanly Kubric when he took a look at the footage that was shot while he strangled his latest DP to death and said “Eh… I guess that will do”.
The sponsors ruined any sort of suspense you might feel. After you find out that the future they lived in created a magic cream that could heal anything it makes you realize how lazy the writing is.
So let me get this straight. In the future, the bad guys can press a button that makes anything happen? Burning tree falling out of no where? Beep. Done. Giant Rottweilers? Press a button and they magically conjure out of fallen leaves. It sounds to me like the author couldn’t think of anything suspenseful enough until she remembered that in the future Anything Can Happen. The bad guys should have just killed the pita bread boy at the end. They had a button for it I’m sure. That way we wouldn’t have had to watch Donald Sutherland set up a sequel for ten minutes after the movie finished.
And if the sponsors were some statement on the nature of capitalism, all I could think about was the fucking space parachutes.
This is a “nerd alert”? Man, being a nerd has gone from “cool” back to “sucking”, hasn’t it.
yay! let the hazing recommence! *puts on wrist guards for wedgies and runs to find the nearest young adult section*
When was a “nerd” persona cool in any but the most derivative, ironic sense? As in, “I like [whatever] so much; I’m such a nerd, you guys!”
i think that’s why “cool” and “nerd” are in quotes
Helena Bonham Carter just tweeted Elizabeth Banks: “Ima fukk you up 4 stealing my schtick. #biters”
And you were doing so good with your review of the FP.
I think you wrote this movie off before you saw it, beacause there was a huge buzz about it and everyone hates “popular” things. If you’re going to pick on the movie for being derivative, you could have at least compared it to Battle Royale, which is more similar than anything you mentioned.
I think you’re spot on about the shaky cam stuff, I didn’t like it either. Considering this was adapted from a YA novel, you know they aren’t going to make it as violent as people might want. Your last comment is the most off base. How is Stephanie Moyer’s idea any more earnest than Suzanne Collins? Both of them finished their series before they were turned into movies. I don’t want to get into comments on the books, since we are talking about movies. I’d rather watch shaky cam Jennifer Lawrence shoot people with arrows over Kristen Steward biting her lip every day of the week.
Normally I love your reviews. Here we’ll have to beg to differ.
Stephenie Meyer was a housewife before she wrote Twilight. Suzanne Collins was an established television writer who got into YA books after Stephenie Meyer and JK Rowling proved that there was a shitload of money in it. You know how many writing MFA grads I know who are writing YA books now because there’s money in it? It’s not because that was always what they’d dreamed of doing, I promise you.
YOU AIN’T LYING.
I was tossing a few story ideas around, hit on an interesting one and thought to myself “could I make this something marketable if I tweak it for teens & tweens?” Then I punched myself in the nuts and moved on.
Not out of artistic merit, or pride, but because if I’m going to write something that doesn’t sell, it might as well be my best effort.
“YA books now because there’s money in it? It’s not because that was always what they’d dreamed of doing, I promise you.”
I always dreamed about writing a book where teens end up in the Bermuda Triangle, which is an Island lost in time, and that they go back to it multiple times for the sequels, like in Narnia. It had nothing to do with trying to make money….Then that “Journey” movie came out and sort of beat me to the punch and ruined my money making scheme…errr….dream.
It’s good to hear that crass writers will be “flooding the zone” with this manipulative crap. That’s the best way to burn out teens on it and that might increase the odds that they will pick up a book written for adults.
Yeah, if I wasn’t a god damned idiot, I would have picked up on this trend when I took a class in college called “Young Adult Lit.” Harry Potter had just come out, and all the broads had their creamshorts on daily when we read shit like Am I Blue (A metaphor for the gay), And a bunch of other ones that I can’t remember like Chocolate Jew or something by Robert Cormier or whatever I don’t care to look it up but what I’m getting at is, “Hey fellas, you want to pick up some minors? Write a sexy young adult book and then beat the pussy off with a stick.”
Vince don’t worry they stole the treating the condemed like celebrity thing from a number of sources. Most importantly an episode of Sliders. Man you guys remember Sliders? That show was pretty cool.
Getting makeovers from Lenny Kravitz so you can get parachuted soup? This is the most convoluted and worthless movie since Un2sual Suspects starring Adam Sandler.
So the names of these characters are pretty horrendous. Katpiss? who names their protagonist that?
I’ll take uniquely stupid over slick and bland any day.
THIS times eleventy one gold pressed latinums.
Feklhr’s hidden meaning:
Roethlisberger > Brady
No, no… Tebow > Sanchez!!!
Cutler > Brees? No..no.no. I can’t say that without my nose growing an inch or two.
Rivers > Brady
Then at the end Arnold rips her and half and say something about “She’s just taking a Kat nap.” Right?
RIGHT?!
Right after she shoots an arrow at him that he dodges and he says: “Vat’s da mattah? I heard dat you Kat-miss?”
That’s what I love about these YA movies, man. I get older, they stay the same format.
“Absolutely amazing movie. Best hero I’ve seen since Robin Hood.” -Hawkeye
Anyone else off-put by the contrast between the ,uh, I’m guessing poor district people and the Moulin Rouge-esque Future-Rococo of what appears to be the ruling class? Now, this may be unfounded as I’ve only seen the trailer, but not only does it seem heavy handed but it just doesn’t mesh. Like, they are worlds from two different movies. I don’t know. I’m too old for this shit.
Like, in Rollerball, John Houseman looked like he was in the same universe as James Caan.
Subtlety is for losers.
clearly.
The whole series is basically just a rip off of FLAVA OF LOVE. Pass.
I liked it and was very much entertained. Except for Elizabeth Banks powdery face and the shaky cam, but other than that it was alright. Also I got a free Peeta Cup for my soda.
Also, John Carter was way better.
*ROFLHAOJOWKPSSFUHAICOOHRF!!!*
Rolling on the floor laughing His ass off, jerking off with Krull prostate stimulator stuck so far up His ass it’s coming out of His ridged forehead.
John Carter was way better, but I didn’t actually mind this. It wasn’t excruciating like Twilight and there was enough good there, even if it laid things on thickly at times.
One thing though VInce, on the romance bit, I thought it was that whilst she had some feelings towards that Pita dude (exacerbated by circumstance) she was largely playing that fool. Which is much more interesting.
I considered that as well, but I didn’t feel like giving them the benefit of the doubt because “IT’LL ALL BECOME CLEAR IN THE NEXT FILM!” just seems like a bullshit copout. John Carter did a much better job pimping their sequel while still giving the movie an ending.
@Grimm and Vince
I can’t help but feel that the love triangle in this movie(s) is incredibly forced. I get it, it’s a YA movie based off a YA book series, so it makes moneyz, but I think it would’ve been a lot better to watch something like Katniss winning The Hunger Games alone, then have the next two movies be about her dealing with the stress of just having killed a bunch of her peers while simultaneously leading another rebellion against The Capitol. I dunno, love triangles, or most romantic subplots, always kind of rub me the wrong way. To me, they never really feel NEEDED to get a good story going.
I’m surprised by the backlash to this review. I mean, yes it’s dripping with sarcasm and disdain but, um, this is FilmDrunk. To paraphrase Daniel Tosh “Whoa I came to a comedy show, but I wasn’t expecting sarcasm and racist jokes!”
If you want to hype a product so much, then not meeting that hype is a perfectly valid criticism against it. So you can’t dismiss someone’s criticism with “You wouldn’t be treating it so harshly if not for all the hype” because yes, you can.
I didn’t think it was terrible, but all the hype put the flaws on full display. Like Vince said, they spent a lot of energy stressing how important it is to get sponsors to like you but no sponsor ever did anything during the games. Both parachutes we see were sent by Woody Harrelson with Randy Quaid’s haircut in Kingpin. That’s poor storytelling.
There was 0 palpable tension during the training between kids who know they’re going to try to kill each other in a few days. The attempt at it was laughable. Why does the obvious strongest contestant form an alliance with people who are obviously weaker than him?
A lot of it just didn’t make sense. And it doesn’t matter if it made sense in the books – if it doesn’t make sense to someone that hasn’t read the books then it fails as a movie.
totally agree. How do we know the kid with the sword is the bad guy? Because he looks like one of the preppy kids from Johnny Tsunami. And high fives his bros like a D Bag.
Also the little black girl that dies is obviously a good guy because she is cute.
I figured this movie was gonna suck when they started hyping it by saying “It’s not Twilight you guys, I’m serious.” If it’s not Twilight then you don’t need to say it isn’t. It just wouldn’t be. But by inviting those comparisons you taint the viewer right off the bat, and call attention to similarities which would otherwise go unnoticed. UNLESS the movie IS just like Twilight (which, I know SM didn’t invent the two-man-boy love triangle, but I did see similarities while reading the book).
Either way, the books are pretty good (especially for YA novels) but there was no real way a movie would be able to translate them effectively while also attempting to court the built in audience of readers, the people who love Twilight and therefore all things underage and genital tingling, and those who hate Twilight but need something to become the anti-Twilight.
If anything should be the anti-Twilight it should be X-Rated Bloodsuckers by Mario Acevedo. It’s about a Mexican vampire PI who is investigating the murders of a bunch of porn actresses. One of the side characters is a Mexican ginger Jew vampire. On the reals.
I have to see this movie now. Please tell me it’s unrated and not in English.
It’s a book.
Please tell me it’s in Spanish.
Wow. That escalated quickly.
Vince killed a guy.
Weeth his bare hands.
Meh. I didn’t think it was bad at all. It’s easy to say its x meets x to summarize a flick. I would say Miss Congeniality meets Battle Royale is pretty accurate for this one. It gets points for being somewhat subversive by mixing the two, even though it’s not spoken about in detail I think it’s definitely pesent(otherwise it wouldn’t be subversive, it would be a bunch of pompous exposition).
I enjoyed Jennifer Lawrence, Stanley Tucci, and even Josh Hutheson wasn’t bad when compared to other hunky douches his age.
I thought Rue shouldn’t have been treated like such an afterthought, and yeah… shaky cam sucks hard. B+ for me.
Fun fact: I spell “Present” like “pesent” whenever I’m jacking off.
If they changed every “thunder” to “hunger” in AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and used that as the themesong, this movie would have been way better.
How about Temple of the Dog “Hunger Strike?”
I can’t tell you how much I was waiting for this review. I hated the shaky cam and agree with Vince on a lot of the stuff. I liked the books, and liked the movie but overall they were forgettable. They were a good popcorn book that turned into a decent popcorn movie. So it’s weird that people are talking about how great this is. The same people who talked about how John Carter was like every other sci-fi movie but say this movie is unique and original? WTF? So Vince, just another reason why I love filmdrunk!
It’s “Avatar” all over again. Just because people liked it it suddenly becomes the best thing since ever.
AARRGG I can’t agree with any of you and that frustrates me.
To be fair, Collins had already transitioned to YA two years before Twilight was published, much less popular.
And as for the shakey-cam: one of your big complaints about Chronicle wasn’t the camera itself, but instead the constant flimsy justification for it, while Hunger Games actually has a good reason for it in the context of the story. Still, I hate shakey-cam.
I have to agree with the poster that suggested there is a bit of hipster-esque “hate the popular” going on. You’ve basically ripped on Hunger Games for the last couple of Weeks. Oh well, fuck typing this out on a phone.
I thought the shaky cam worked well during the opening of the games at the, um, did they call it a cornucopia I think? That whole sequence was very well done. It pushed the PG-13 as far as I think a PG-13 rating could probably go and definitely conveyed the appropriate level of confusion. But other than that it wasn’t well justified. That decision was probably made to avoid showing the things you shouldn’t show in a PG-13 movie.
Hahaha, you took the “s” off of girls to make it singular so it could apply appropriately to the context in which you used it. That’s so raven. Isn’t it ya’ll? Isn’t that so raven..or is it ravin’? I never can tell with you kids these days what in the hell it is you’re saying.
I think we can all agree that Vince deserves either a great blowjob or to have his dick bitten off for writing this review. Either way, he’s earned putting his dick in somebody’s mouth.
To underscore even more how this sounds like another cut-and-paste project genetically engineered to make a shitload of money because its so much like a bunch of other neat things people liked but not quite so close to be a total ripoff … your “semi-interesting wrinkle” (that’s a weird thing to write) is a scene straight outta The Running Man (the work of literature not the Paul Michael Glaser film). The room may not have been swanky, I don’t remember, but he definitely gets to spend his last day before beginning the game in a room with whatever he wants brought to him. He’s offered a fancy prostitute but turns her down, opting instead for a steak dinner, two bottles of whiskey and a book. His wife is also a hooker because they’re so poor, hence his turning down a lay before facing likely death. He just fucking hates hookers. No shaky cam can hide that level of shame.
This thread is blowing up. You gone done it now!
TBH I was hoping for more kids killing each other in the woods because Battle Royale.
WHEN DOO THEY MAEK POOPIES AND OR SAX BEBBIES?!
“I’ll take uniquely stupid over slick and bland any day.” I kinda figured that after you liked Green Lantern over Super 8; agreed. But, I still cannot abide by Stephanie Meyer’s writing ability. I actually attempted to read the first one (it’s only fair, for the sake of derision), and it was some of the worst prose I’d ever read in a published work. Also, it’s just a masturbatory fantasy for midwest housewives that, surprise, took the midwest by storm.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve picked up Twilight before, and you can pretty much turn to any paragraph in any of the books for examples of horrible writing. I don’t want to make it sound like i think she’s a good writer.
Vince plus Stephanie sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…
I think you missed the point about it being better than Twilight. That is generally directed towards the books, which were light years better than the twilight books (assuming as much as I wouldn’t read Twilight if it was the last book on earth). I read and loved the hunger games trilogy and I don’t read YA fiction, well, ever. I enjoyed the movie, but everything in your review really made sense as a reaction for someone who hasn’t read the books. Everything you complain about it fleshed out much better in print. Those of us who have read the series sort of fill-in-the-blanks, I guess. And, yeah, John Carter was better.
Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs! Sorry, that’s all I got
If you have those, what else do you need?
Fuck you Vince. Writing reviews that perfectly encapsulate my opinions about things and shit.
Yea, I can’t believe the negative reaction to this review from people other than your wayward Googler.
“The Wayward Googler.”
That will be then name of my pirate ship, when I get a pirate ship, which I won’t.
i liked it, but they should have explored the caste/class issue way more – this could have been a badass allegory, but instead it’s just a fun throwaway movie
“The Badass Allegory.”
That will be the name of my other pirate ship.
ROFLKOTAL @porky
I read the first book and from your review it seems like they left some stuff out and changed some things around. For instance, the sponsors play send Katniss multiple supplies but it seems that in the movie they only send her one thing. Also, Haymitch teaches Peeta how to camouflage himself so well because thats how he won the hunger games when he was picked, instead of Peeta being automatically good at it because he’s a baker. Lots of potential but it looks like they messed up.
I’d been having a strong HUNGER to see this movie because lot of people are going to see it and I don’t want to miss out. Now that I’ve read this review, I can just pretend I’ve seen it AND make smart & witty references thanks to Vince.
Long live Harry Potter
I refuse to believe PETA (seriously?) Has the strength of 3 C-Tates when he was only able to throw a loaf of bread like 2 Justin Biebers.
Math is fun!
I agree with Vince, Hunger Games is for fags and stupid bitches
Say what you will about the movie Vince, it brings the comments. I’ll start with the Twilight comparison:
“Stephenie Meyer at least had an earnest idea.”
A vampire love story is an earnest idea? It’s completely unoriginal and simply involved a younger demographic in a story that’s been told over and over again.
I agree with Mike that the movie could vastly have been improved if it were rated R. After reading the books, I wondered how they were going to pull the movie off. I would have like it much more were the gruesome details in the book kept on the screen. The Hunger Games was a book that out shined the film, which happens on most occasions.
Either way, you didn’t like it or get it, which is what will incense us book readers. As a comedian, it’s an easy choice for you to make fun of the movie instead of picking up the books. Cashing in on something that you call out for cashing in isn’t exactly original either – political pundits do it every day.
why should he read the books to critique the movie? people who adapt books to film constantly say they want the films to be viewed as unique works of art and be judged as such. the movie “hunger games” is what is being critiqued here, obviously
To agree with meh, nobody had to read The Godfather to justify musturbating furiously while Sonny beat the shit out of a crying Carlo. You just whipped it out and beat your dick like it owed you money.
Vince could read the book to understand the story better and get a grasp on the series. But he wasn’t swayed, so I don’t expect him to read the book.
The best movies/shows based on books make you want to go and read the books for comparison. Clearly the Hunger Games didn’t have that affect on most people here.
Game of Thrones made me want to read the books. This? Not so much.
I thought it was just the rude pricks behind me who talked through the whole thing, but I’m relieved to find that this movie sucked even if you could focus.
As someone who did read the books, I’d like to say that all of the added information about the pin or the motivations of various characters were vital, but it really was just a quick and easy read and I’m struggling to understand the obsession with it.
To be fair, even with the love triangle, it’s not Twilight, but I think it’s the YA version of Drive: a very simple story painted with an artistic brush it neither needs nor deserves.
This would have been way better if it was a documentary about competitive eating.
FWIW, I thought the movie was much easier to follow than Vince lets on here. Also, does having the two of them win the Hunger Games not count as an ending? If you’re going to do a trilogy you need to end the first movie somewhere, and right after the games seems like as good an ending as giving their life back in D12 (RIP Proof) 10 minutes of screen time.
You are nitpicking the frigging movie Vince why are you doing that?
Yes that shaky camera is awfull and fucks things up and the director should be bitchslapped for that but it doen’s ruin the movie.
Yes they are BS things but its not the kind of stuff that is aimed at kids and there is not a single campy moment in the entire movie.
Everybody knows at the end of the movie that there is going to be a secuel just by watching it.
What happend to you Vince? you used to be cool.
Its atleast a B