‘I Have A Lot Of Tricks, But I’m Not Your Dog’: An Interview With AVN Awards Co-Host Alexis Texas

Getty Image

Before she started working in porn in 2007, Alexis Texas grew up in Texas. And of course, she’s famous for having ample buttocks that could remind one of the phrase “everything’s bigger in Texas.” So when you think about it, the name works on at least two levels. As if to confirm that she’s attained a level of pornstardom reserved for only the super elite, Texas was named co-host of the 2015 AVN Awards. According to the official press release, “Her career highlights have included gracing the cover of Hustler magazine’s 35th anniversary issue, holding a three-year reign as Elegant Angel’s Buttwoman, becoming an exclusive contract girl† for Adam & Eve Pictures, and this year having her most hallowed asset officially decorated by winning the AVN Fan Award for Hottest Ass.”

She was also the cover model for “The Big Butt Book,” and appears in that capacity in my favorite Getty Image of director Brett Ratner. A day before the awards, I had the chance to speak with Ms. Texas on the exhibition floor. As we strained to hear each other over the loud Buckcherry songs, I tried to ask her a few questions not about her butt.

UPROXX: When you meet people outside of the porn world, do you tell them what you do for a living, or do you have a go-to lie?

I don’t tend to lie. I don’t like to lie. I don’t like to divulge information that people don’t need to know. I try to predict how someone might react to a situation. If they’re going to go really crazy, or they even think like– they’re so conservative. Because I’m from Texas at the end of the day, so I know all the conservative Republicans very well. So you just have to play it safe.

I used to edit porn. One night I was in a cab and I sort of — this cab driver woman asked me what I did. I said I was an editor. She’s like, “Oh! What kind of stuff do you edit?” It was late, and I was just kind of too tired to lie, so I just told her. And then she threw me out of the cab. So I was wondering, what’s the worst reaction you’ve ever had?

Really? That’s horrible. See things like that, I’ve heard stories, but I’ve never had something that crazy happen. What’s weird is, until I got into this industry I never realized how much people ask what’s your name and what do you do?

When you’re on an airplane, when you don’t know someone, those are the first two, and I hate that. It’s like, what do you do doesn’t define who you are. You’re telling me if I don’t know you that you are a truck driver, how would that make you any different, do you know what I mean? So for me I don’t like to be like, “Yeah, I’m in porn.” I like people to find out who I am first and accept me and then be like, “Oh, I do porn.” They’re like, “What? No way. You would never.” So I like the shock value.

When you do tell people what you do, do guys get different with their boundaries? Do they treat you differently?

I try not to surround myself around what I would call “groupies” if I sense it. I feel like if a new guy comes around and I can tell he wants to get into my lineup of men that I’m around… I don’t know. I try to, I guess, weed out the ones that are — Did you watch my porn? Are you a superfan? Are you trying to do this to make you look cool? Or are you just genuine, and you really like me? So, I try to weed those out. I am a pretty good judge of character, I like to say.

When you come to something like this [the AVNs], I’ve noticed that guys will come up to their favorite star and they’ll want to take a picture, but they’ll be like, “Can you turn this way? Can you do this? Can you do that?” What’s the line between being nice and being like, “Hey, I’m not your puppet, asshole.”

Oh, I’m mean. So I’m very nice and accommodating until you make me feel like I am a dog that needs to do tricks. Because I have a lot of tricks, but I’m not your dog. So what I do – my number one thing that I hate because I have a big booty, is the finger one, the turning around thing. [Here she held her index finger up in the air and made a circling motion.]  I’m like, “No. If you do the f*cking finger I’m not turning around.” It’s my choice when I want to turn around. When I’m done posing in the front, then I’ll turn around. I just actually yelled at someone yesterday and I was like– because after a while you see all these people coming back again and again – and it’s great, I love my fans – but it’s like enough is enough. Hire me for a photo shoot, motherf*cker. I’m not taking 20,000 pictures. I will take two and be lovely and be smiling and pretty, and if you’re lucky I’ll let you see my booty. Don’t do the finger or you’re never going to see the booty

What is the weirdest scene that you’ve filmed?

I did a scene with, I think it’s Kelly Madison and her husband – I don’t know his name – but we did the scenes with angel wings. All of us were wearing angel wings.

Go on.

We were all wearing angel wings, the big Victoria Secret runway – huge f*cking wings. He was a dark angel and we were like the sweet angels. It was so horrible. It was great in pictures, but trying to get three people to have sex with wings on… it was not fun, not comfortable. Yeah. I don’t know how birds have sex. I don’t know how they have orgies. I don’t know how they do any of that.

I think they tuck the wings in when they do it.

Maybe. They have more control over their wings, because my wings– the only wings I have are my bat wings, which are my pussy lips, and I have control of those, but I didn’t have any control of the other wings.

Is there a certain kind of rebellion that comes from not having a regular 9-to-5 job?

Oh, of course. For me, I feel like I have more control over my life. I don’t have someone being a ruler. I’m my own boss at the end of the day. It’s great. I mean, I can wake up when I want. I can start my day when I want. I’m my own boss. So, if I want to work until 12:00 at night, if I have to. If not, I can go to sleep whenever I want. It’s very nice. I love having the freedom to be able to have that.

Thank you for talking to me. And good luck hosting.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Vince Mancini is a writer and comedian living in San Francisco. You can find more of his work on FilmDrunk, the Uproxx network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator. Fan FilmDrunk on Facebook, find the latest movie reviews here.

†Essentially, a “contract girl” is a star being paid a retainer by a studio to be the face of that studio. According to people I’ve talked to, these days, a contract girl most likely earns slightly less than she might be able to shooting lots of scenes for many studios, but the paycheck is much more consistent and much less stressful.