Jaden Smith knows how to cure hunger, and a fan responds.

In the spirit of optimism, I’m hoping that ~90% of these retweets are ironic. Of course Jaden Smith is really into half-assed hypothetical infoturds like this. Bro, did you know if we didn’t spend any money on the military, we could send everybody to college for like, fifty years?! Or like, if everyone jumped at the same time, Earth would blow up? Yeah, it’s crazy dude, especially when you think how the air never really leaves the—oh, excuse me—Especially When You Think How The Air Never Really Leaves The Air, And Like, We’re Breathing The Same Air That Caesar Or L. Ron Or Bob Marley Breathed. Yeah Dude, Like, Even Their Farts and Stuff. Nah, Farts Are Only Gross Until You Realize That Human Beings Are Mortal But None Of It Like, Means Anything So We Should Just All Be Nice To Each Other. It’s Super Obvious But Parents Don’t Realize It Because They Spend So Much Time At ‘Work’ Learning To Chase Money And Ignore Art And Just Not Understand.

It’s tough not to get hella trolled by this level of buffoonery, so my infinite kudos to @selsbieber for responding in the best way possible. To avoid further crimes against humanity, Will, please don’t get Jada pregnant tonight.

Screencap and response by Spencer Hall, who notes, “I want this to be how press conferences actually work.”

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