Like all billionaires, James Cameron eventually got tired of shooting Ukranian hookers with a crossbow, and yesterday became the first person ever to take a solo trip to the deepest point on Earth, the bottom of the Mariana’s trench, a place only visited once before, by Jacques Piccard and U.S. Navy Capt. Don Walsh in 1960. Cameron famously sent a Tweet from the bottom (yeah, billionaires get better wifi than you, are you surprised?), and after murdering the evil king of Atlantis with a trident and impregnating the princess, Cameron promptly returned to the surface and declared, “That was boring.”
Actually, he said he didn’t see anything but tiny shrimp, but that didn’t stop National Geographic from releasing some of the footage from the trip. Some notes:
- The ship squeezes down three inches in length from the pressure, 16,000 pounds per square inch.
- “It was very lunar. Very desolate. My feeling was one of complete isolation from the rest of humanity. I mean, I feel like I literally have gone, in the space of one day, to another planet and come back.”
The trip was said to have left such an impression on Cameron that he named one of his white tigers “Mariana” and has been feeding her only the finest endangered tapirs flown in every morning from the Amazon.