Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is In Talks To Play Edward Snowden For… Guh, Oliver Stone

Edward Snowden is a complicated figure whose story desperately needs a Michael Lewis to tell it in such a way that the average person can understand it and why it’s important, and not immediately lump it in with one side of the mostly manufactured political divide. Instead we’re getting Oliver Stone, the man who included the line “I know it sounds like Star Wars love, but you could do it, you could be Captain America!” in his movie about the financial crisis. *sigh*

Oliver Stone seems to have found the man to play NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden in his next pic “The Snowden Files.”

Sources tell Variety that Stone has offered the part to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and that the actor has agreed to do it. Though negotiations have not yet begun, both sides want the deal to happen.

Stone is writing and directing and will produce with Eric Kopeloff and Moritz Borman.

Stone acquired the rights to the book “Time of the Octopus” by Snowden’s lawyer, Anatoly Kucherena, which is considered the closest thing to a documented account of the events since Snowden first released the documents. [Variety]

Stone’s last movie, Savages, included a former US soldier who, we’re told through Blake Lively voiceover, doesn’t have orgasms, but rather “wargasms.” That was Oliver Stone’s way of communicating the difficulties of returning veterans through portmanteau, you see. So I’m excited to see what he cooks up for the Edward Snowden movie. Maybe Snowden sliding his girlfriend’s panties down to her ankles while she coos “I want you to reveal my secrets.” Oops, I accidentally gave myself a boner. “Mmm, yeah, now blow my whistle.”

Anyway, I’m not saying getting Oliver Stone to direct the Edward Snowden movie was a plot by the NSA to keep people from taking it seriously, but they could’ve done worse.