It’s been a few years since we last checked in with famously disliked German film director Uwe Boll. Back in 2013, he had tried to Kickstart money for Postal 2 in a humorous but frequently misspelled crowdfunding push, along with a video that would’ve seemed amateurish for a high-school kid, let alone a famous movie director, during which he urged fans to take money from children so he could “rape Heidi Klum.”
Now Uwe (OOH-vay) is back with a YouTube confessional about Kickstarter called “f*ck you all” which should give you some indication of how well those Kickstarter campaigns went. Here’s Boll’s opening salvo:
“So yes Uwe Boll, and uh that is the last update, we have only four days to do with the Rampage campaign. And that was my third campaign now, after Postal 2 failed, after Indiegogo for Rampage 3 failed, and now Kickstarter failed too. And… basically my message is f*ck yourself. Because that is so f*cking absurd. What retarded amateur idiots collecting money on that absurd website. We get approached by people like Kickstarter – ‘Do it! Do it!’ – and you have hundred thousand people contacting you to make a fast dime to say ‘I can push your campaign and I get ten percent of whatever you collect.’ And it’s all f*cking bullsh*t and I will never do it in my life again. Crowd funding for me is dead.”
“I have enough money to play golf until I’m dead.”
“You’re easier getting 600,000 dollars if you make a movie about some retarded visit in the forest [?] or for… whatever… Marvel… Avengers bullsh*t dirt. So goodbye, and goodbye Hollywood.”
It’s less a traditional crowd-funding plea than the kind of video you find on someone’s computer after they’ve shot up a school. Which isn’t a great leap to make since “Postal” is already named for the act of going on a mass shooting.
There’s another video where he gets even angrier:
“They’re all f*cking each other in the asses and nobody makes any decisions. All the actors I ever worked with, Ben Kingsley, or whatever, are f*cking pussies.”
SHOTS FIRED. Ben Kingsley? Damn. I hope for Boll’s sake, my boy Special K never hears about this, because from what I’ve been told, Gandhi runs with a crew of “hard, pipe-hitting n***s.”
In all seriousness, I wanted to give to this Kickstarter, to see if we could get it funded and hopefully hear more from Uwe Boll and maybe keep him from killing people. I pledged $50 and started to put in my information before I realized I’d have to give my home address and chickened out.