Lifehacks: How To Make The Most Of Comic-Con

We’re only about two weeks away from the 45th Annual Comic-Con in San Diego (it opens on July 24 with a preview the night before), when the cast and crew of a hundred or so TV shows and movies, about 5 of which actually involve comics, will sit down at panels for promotion and to interact with fans. Here’s how to make the most of it.

– Adrianne Curry will let you stick it anywhere.

– Dress up as Rick from Rick and Morty. I’m sure no one else will be doing that this year.

– Attractive girls will often wear sexy versions of a costume, like Sexy Chewbacca, or Boba Fett, or busty Storm trooper, or Sexy Thor. Go ahead and excessively point out the inaccuracies of their costume, but only if it’s a convenient time and place to start drownin’ in p*ssy.

– It can get very crowded; try making a huge banner saying COMIC-COM ENTRANCE and hang it on a different building across the street.

– Some costumes can be confusing and you can’t even tell if the person is a boy or a girl; don’t hesitate to ask the wearer if you may inspect their genitalia.

– If you’re planning on wearing a Frodo costume, like I am, you’ve just made yourself a powerful new enemy my friend.

– According to Variety, the writers of The Big Bang Theory will be “back to share more secrets behind the hit comedy.” I have to assume they’re kidding.

– MAC Cosmetics’ will start selling a “Marge Simpson-inspired collection” on August 28, but you can get it at Comic-Con on July 26, and “receive a Marge makeover”. Because having yellow skin and four fingers, like a Syrian shoplifter with jaundice, is a hot look.

– Don’t even think twice about any kind of violence, it would be impossible to sneak a weapon into this kind of place.

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