Megan Fox replaced with The Stath’s girlfriend

I didn’t put much stock in it when it was just The Sun reporting it, but now multiple sites are mentioning broad-faced Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitley as Megan Fox’s replacement in Transformers 3Deadline says she’s the front runner in a short list of three that also includes The House Bunny‘s Sarah Wright and Brooklyn “The Boner Fairy” Decker.  Huntington-Whiteley also just so happens to be Jason Statham’s girlfriend. Him being a friend of the site, I reached out to The Stath to see if he’d care to comment on the situation.

Oi, conts. Da Stafe heah, innit.  Oy ‘as come heah ta tew you about ‘ow oy feel about moy girlfriend starrin in a fiwm wiv dis cont, Moichael Baiy.  Fing is, it seems loike it wis only a few daiys ago dat Da Stafe wis foinally learnin da name ov da bird Oy’ve been knobbin’.  An’ now it seems loike evry cont’s wew focken curious about ‘er, now is dey?  Seems moy dahlin’ bird, whatshername (don’ remoind me, Oy ‘as got ta leahn dis some toime), is wew keen on starrin’ in dis movie about robots dat punch each ovvas whoilst disgoised as sazz wagons.  Furvamore, dis rowdy bloody focken sazz wagon punchin’ movie ‘as a directah, dis cont Moichael Bay, oo’s meant ta be wew fockin notorious for actin’ cheeky wiv da birds, makin’ dem shoine ‘is sazz wagons, an’ yellin’ an’ aw’ dat.  An’ evry’one wants ta know what da Stafe finks about da cont, now don’ Oy?

Roight. So da first toime Da Stafe met dis Moichael Bay cont, da cont droives up in a flash shoiny sazz wagon.  Only win Da Stafe sees da cont, Da Stafe finks it’s bird, on account uv da cont ‘avin shoiny focken ‘air flowin’ in da focken’ summah breeze loike Da Stafe’s sistah or somefin, innit.  Only boy da grace a God did Da Stafe realoize it weren’t a bird before ‘e knobbed ‘er.  But once Oy knew it wiz a bloke, a funny fing ‘appened, now didn’t it.  Da cont earned Da Stafe’s respect.  Da cont’s sazz wagon wiz wew shoiny, an’ besoides, Da Stafe especially knows ‘ow difficult birds kin be, donnit.  Ow ways askin’ a fousand focken questions, “Oi, Stafe, is da footy game almost ova?” “Oi, Stafe, when is oy gonna get anovva knobbin’?  “Oi, Stafe, oy ‘as cut me’sewf on your chisewed features again.”   Oo needs it.  Da Stafe figures if dis cont wiv da shoiny focken bird ‘air can taike a bird off Da Stafe’s ‘ands in between knobbins, an’ maiybe even teach da bird ‘ow not to ask so many questions, an’ ‘ow to propa shoyne a focken sazz wagon, so much da bettah, innit. Da sazz wagons ain’ gonna shoine demsewves, now is dey.