Mike Myers wants to make an Austin Powers musical now

12.13.11 7 years ago 16 Comments

As if Bob the annoying guy from shipping refusing to break character all day three Halloweens ago wasn’t enough to solidify Austin Powers’ status as no longer even remotely cool, Mike Myers now wants to turn it into a musical. A fourth movie is also still happening, reportedly. It’s enough to make you want to gun rape someone.

A source close to 48-year-old Myers confirmed to Page Six, “Mike is in talks to turn ‘Austin Powers’ into a musical stage show. Mike would be heavily involved in writing the show, but he will not star in it, even though he has quite a good singing voice.”

In the meantime, Myers’ private life has been blossoming. We revealed that he secretly married his longtime girlfriend, Kelly Tisdale, in New York in October 2010. The couple welcomed a baby boy, Spike, this past September. [NYPost]

The original Austin Powers came out two months before Limp Bizkit’s FIRST ALBUM. Jesus, man, LET IT GO. Not even Jerry Lewis beat a dead horse this long and hard, unless you count those muscular dystrophy teleth– you know what, let’s just forget this analogy. Point being, Austin Powers catchphrases were annoying before Borat catchphrases were annoying, and even that was like five years ago. And you know what’s not going to make them LESS annoying? Some dude in tights singing them 500 times in a row during the chorus to “Do I Make You Horny, Baby.” This is like taking the most obnoxious thing in the world, distilling it down to a liquid, then soaking a mosquito in it and having it buzz in your ear for all eternity while your asshole itches and printer jams. I don’t want to fall into cheap hyperbole here, but Jesus Christ, anyone who thinks this is an idea worth considering should be shot out of a cannon into the sun.

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