Behold, the Most Christopher Walken Scene of All Time

This scene comes from a movie that came out in 1991, and the YouTube clip is from 2010 with 200K views, so save the “this is old” comments, brosephs and brosephines, your point has been conceded. Nonetheless, it was news to me, and it is magnificent. Everyone working on a Christopher Walken impression should study this clip. After making an epic entrance in a steadicam shot (“Eh, I’m Walken here!”), his hair blow dried and erect like a million tiny priapisms, Walken moseys into the scene like a leather-coated John Wayne, grabs the bullhorn, and tells the bad guy in vivid detail about the blow job Walken got from the guy’s wife. Even on paper, the scene is breathtaking in its Walkenness, but it’s Walken’s acting that really gives it the Walken touch. All the Walken hallmarks are there:

  • Complete disregard for any and all punctuation
  • Excessive emphasis on certain words and phrases, seemingly chosen at random
  • Looking around between words to add gravitas
  • Licking his lips like he’s chewing invisible gum.

Now it’s… TIME. For you. To be… MESmerized.

“What is this a parade. Move these people… BACK.”

“Smart woman. LUanne. …LOTTA woman.”

“Great to see her again. It’s been YEARS… but.”

For the record, the clip is from a direct-to-video thriller called All American Murder, released in 1991.

Artie Logan (Schlatter) is the new guy on Campus. Suddenly, he meets Tally Fuller: the most popular and beautiful girl at Fairfield college and she finally agrees to go on a date with him. But that night she is brutally killed by a blowtorch-wielding maniac and Artie is wrongfully arrested. Despite protests from other Police officers, detective P.J. Decker (Walken) believes Artie’s story and gives him 24 hours to crack down the real killer. But, as Artie gets closer to the killer, each suspect is murdered and all the clues point to him.

Well murder can be a real CRIME… but. I hope. Artie can CATCH… that killer. Or else SOMEbody… is gonna be real mad.

[thanks for the tip, Osky]