Bros! If we don’t clean up all these pumpkins by sundown, my big bro Steve is going to make me Edward 40 Hands till I hose! Katie from Chi O (not blow job Katie) said it was those SigEp assh*les! After we get this cleaned up, let’s power hour at the Kappa pig roast, then head over to Eagle Rock while those f*gs are at the Sigma Kattle date auction! Taco! Fitzy! Bed Pan! Beaner! You guys pick up the pig from Spoogie’s uncle’s! Panda! Taint! Dozer! Asian Steve! Help me rally the troops! Get the key to the med lab from Manson! Tell Burger to borrow his mom’s wagon to haul the cadavers! NO LETTERS! If you get rolled, tell the Po-Po you’re the state lacrosse team! (Haha, remember when Black Steve got arrested for getting a handy from that Asian Zeta slut on the hayride and then the cop shot him? F*cking rad, bro.) Tex! Tell the pledges they’re on banner watch tonight! T-Bone spent six hours spray painting the ponchos for the Cinco De Marcho party this Friday, so if your little bro wants my sig, do NOT LET those DSP f*ggots steal that sh*t again! And kick down some money for 30 packs, I know you’re not broke, your mom drives a Lexus.
Bring it in, broslices! Let’s teach these queer f*cks to mess with the DFC, then rock dawn patrol at Jimmy Johns! Grip circle it up on three! AHOOGA! AHOOGA! AHOOGA! Now who wants to strip naked and wrestle?
Thanks to my brosephs Burnsy and Ufford for helping me bro-down on this muff patch. Everything else I know about Delta Fu I learned from Deaf Frat Guy.
[Posters via Empire]