New “Left Behind” movie will be about Christian zombies, I think

Before our favorite sweater-clad sandwich enthusiast, Kirk Cameron, smashed up his computer for tempting him with porno in Fireproof (get it? It’s about firemen AND you going to hell), he starred in three successful films adapted from the Left Behind books, a series about a post-rapture world that sold… holy sh*t… 65 million copies. (Just for perspective, depending on the time of year, you could get on the bestseller list by selling fifty thousand copies).

Now, after two real-life raptures failed to materialize, why not go back to the source, just so we’re all prepared? Though Kirk Cameron won’t be involved, Cloud Ten productions is putting up $15 million (one of the largest independent, faith-based budgets ever) for Paul Lalonde and John Patus (who worked on the original series) to script a fourth Left Behind movie.

Christian-themed movies are in the news once again, especially in light of the success of Courageous, made by Sherwood Films. The movie cost $2 million to make and has grossed almost $28 million domestically, showing that the faith-based film market continues to be one of the most profitable segments in the film business.
The movies were political thrillers that focused on the End of Days and the Rapture. Those Christian beliefs are again the focal point of the new movie but the story will be more in the mold of a classic disaster movie. The plot unfolds during the first few hours after the Rapture and focuses on the survivors. [THR]

Now, correct me if I’m wrong (note: DO NOT CORRECT ME!), but isn’t the rapture what happens when God sucks the souls of all the believers up to heaven while the sinners stay behind and sin together until they rot*? The way see it, this either going to be about flying zombies, porno, or both. Jeez, I should go to church more.

*Much like Belinda at Kirk Cameron’s birthday party, left to rot outside the door without the healing sandwiches of Christ