I’ve long complained that pornographers have gotten downright sloppy in their porn parody titles. “The Help: A XXX Porn Parody” or “This Ain’t The Help XXX” are simply unacceptable. Porn wouldn’t be where it is today if their forefathers (whorefathers? foreskin fathers?) had been so devoid of creativity. Which is why it’s so refreshing to see that Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, my favorite film of 2009, has gotten a porn parody with a title to match, “Port of C*ck, New Whoreleans.” It stars Rebeca Linares, who seems like a delight. It’s as if they left the other “C” out of her name, and as a result, she constantly craves it. (C, that is. She constantly craves “C.” Too subtle?)
All the trailers I’ve seen are far too NSFW to post here, but I can tell you that the narrator pronounces the title “New Whore Leans” rather than the more traditional “New WHORElins.” Also, I found a synopsis. I shall now share that synopsis with you, only I shall attempt to replace all the graphic sex terms with food, as in the banner pic.
Sailor Johnny has just arrived at port. Immediately he goes to the WAFFLEhouse looking for Rebeca. She is Johnny’s favorite and no matter what he always wants to CHILI her. At first Johnny treats her like a simple WAFFLE but she has to make sure to remind him why he’s always back. And it is for her tight wet PANCAKES, her great TAMALES and the way she makes him pop the biggest most vibrant SOUFFLÉ.
This movie sounds delicious!
