Real-life Chuck Norris is still kind of a douche

The gap between actual Chuck Norris and the fake Chuck Norris of the internet has always been a pretty wide one, and almost every news story about him is the equivalent of seeing a honey badger in real life and it turns out to be a koala wearing panties. Case in point, yesterday, a news story went around about a quote from a Polish newspaper’s interview of Norris, which basically implied that Expendables 2 was going to be PG-13 because Norris demanded it (the first one was rated R, and they kind of made a big deal about it). Here’s the translated quote:

“In Expendables 2, there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. For this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this. Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not erased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.” [Kazeta]

Yes, that would be a shame, today’s 8-year-olds not being able to see their heroes, uh… Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Late yesterday, Stallone confirmed via his BFF Harry Knowles:

Harry, the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance… Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement,  trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and  delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly

I’ve already seen Barbeque of Grand Scale Ass Bashing parts 1 through 6, what’s new that this one’s bringing to the table? …No homo.

Anyway, there you have it, The Expendables 2 (opening August 12) will be PG-13. What a shame, I was expecting it to be so… good.

(*stabs Chinaman in the belly*) YIPPIE KAI YAY, MR. FALCON!