Seth Rogen Will Be Steve Wozniak To Christian Bale’s Steve Jobs

It seems Hollywood’s fat-guy roulette wheel has come up Seth Rogen for Aaron Sorkin’s Steve Jobs biopic starring Christian Bale, with Variety reporting that the husky Canadian will play Steve Wozniak, the Josh Gad to Christian Bale’s Ashton Kutcher.

Based on Walter Isaacson’s biography “Steve Jobs,” the real-life drama is directed by Danny Boyle and written by Aaron Sorkin.

Sorkin has publicly said the movie will be divided into three long scenes, each taking place backstage before one of Apple’s famous product launches.

So… basically like Walk Hard but with ‘puters. “Quiet, everyone. Steve Jobs gotta think about his whole life before he speaks.”

Wozniak founded Apple with Jobs and Ronald Wayne and is credited with launching the Apple I and Apple II computers in the late 1970s, which had a profound impact on the microcomputer revolution. He left Apple as a full-time employee in 1987. [Variety]

It’s interesting that they cast a stoner comedian in it, because between Christian Bale, Aaron Sorkin, the increasingly wankworthy work of Danny Boyle, and the very idea of a Steve Jobs biopic, this could very well be the smuggest, most bloated, self-congratulatory handjob ever put on film. And I’d like to think I know a little something about filming handjobs.

Also, I found this picture during my image search and I love it:

I remember hangin’ out in my khaki cargos, pockets filled with change n’ stuff, probably thinkin’ to myself “Man, this is never goin’ out of style.”