Jesus, how many movies did Steven Soderbergh make this year? He already has Haywire, starring my burly pretend lover Gina Carano coming out in January, and now here’s a trailer for Contagion, which opens in September. Maybe this one didn’t take as long, seeing as how it looks exactly like Outbreak (Update: It has come to my attention that our friend Mike at Screenrant has put together a mash-up on this very subject). The downside is that it has Gwyneth Paltrow in it. The upshot is that she dies in the middle of the trailer. Someone must’ve finally called her bluff and gave her a choice between that or letting her kid eat Cup-O-Soup.
Also keep your eyes peeled for the “SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT” scene at the 37-second mark. You know that scene. It’s where a minor character, who desperately craves clarification of something he already knows, prefaces a statement with “So let me get this straight…”, in order to deliver important exposition. It’s the fancy screenwriter way of saying, “Are you still with me here, dipsh*ts? Try to keep up.”
“SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: THERE’S A MISSILE THE SIZE OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING FILLED WITH A DEADLY VIRUS… AND IT’S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR EIFFEL TOWER?”
“THAT’S RIGHT! …AND MY KID’S IN THERE!”
“LOOKS LIKE THIS TIME… IT’S PERSONAL.”
[next page: bonus gif]
Teaching Gwyneth the rub-your-belly-while-patting-your-head game proved next to impossible.