You might remember the other day when I posted a quote from Albert Books telling Adam Carolla about one of his least favorite screenwriting tics — when characters constantly, unrealistically address each other by name, just so we don’t forget their names. Specifically, Brooks said:
“There are things I can’t stand in movies, that can be so easily fixed. I don’t like peoples’ names. […] Just to say it all the time… it’s sloppy writing. I’ll tell you a fun game when you have nothing to do: watch Titanic and count how many times he says ‘Rose.’ It must be five thousand. […] I think he even says it underwater.”
That seemed like a great idea, so right after I transcribed the quote, I opened the zippered ear hole on Oliver’s gimp suit and whispered, “Hey, you should make a mash-up of that,” and then hit him in the crotch with a wiffle bat. Being the good slave/video editor that he is, after he came, Oliver delivered a video even better than I could’ve imagined. Not only does Leo say “Rose” a ridiculous number of times, Kate Winslet says “Jack” an equally-ridiculous amount. Jack! What is it, Rose? Jack, don’t die, Jack! ROSE! Not without you, Rose! I love you, Rose! Don’t marry Billy Zane, Rose, he doesn’t know the Rose I know! Jack, I love you too, Jack! Jack, I’m married to Billy Zane but really it’s Jack that I love, Jack! Jack! Rose! Rose! Jack! …
We even made a game out of it. So which do you think they say more? Place your bets below…
As Wesley Snipes famously said, “Always bet on Jack.” …Whatever, I was already leaving.
BONUS MASHUP! Separate to Oliver’s mash up, FilmDrunkard Adam sent me a compilation of The Edge, in which Alec Baldwin says “CHARLES!” roughly eight-six trillion times.
Interestingly, Titanic is the highest-grossing film of all time, and The Edge was written by oft-fellated, frequently-imitated playwright/screenwriter David Mamet. So maybe they’re onto something with this constant name-dropping thing. Or maybe people just have crappy taste.
And as someone pointed out in the comments, there was a similar supercut of “Michael” in Lost Boys that I first posted back in January: