Sylvester Stallone Had A Great Explanation For Why ‘The Expendables 3’ Will Be PG-13

The cast of The Expendables 3 rode into a premiere party at Cannes on a tank over the weekend, because I’m pretty sure that’s the only way Arnold Schwarzenegger travels nowadays. Despite the relative success of the two previous R-rated Expendables movies, the latest installment will be rated PG-13, and Stallone had to field questions about why (probably to keep Mel Gibson from having to field blowjob and pack-of-n-words questions).

“We want to reach as many people as possible. It’s very close to an R, believe me, it’s right there. But I think we owe it to the next generation. We thought we’d join that club for a while.”

Well sure, I know there are lots of 13-year-olds out there all a-clamor for a new Dolph Lundgren movie. “Is that the guy from Power Rangers?” they’ll ask.

“We are children with arthritis, we are young forever,” said writer- star Sylvester Stallone to great applause when he was asked how he and his cronies will know when it’s time to hang it up on actioners. He added, “I think if you wake up in the morning and your ass falls off, it’s time to retire.” [Deadline]

Aw, I can’t quit you, Sly. Also, is that a thing that happens? Should I be worried about my ass? Does HGH help keep your ass attached? I need to go check Web MD.

By the way, enjoy it now, because this is the best part of every Expendables movie, the pictures from the premiere. I only wish the entire movie was just a two-hour montage of the actors smiling at the camera with their names underneath. STALLONE! LUNDGREN! LI! GRAMMER! SNIPES! LI! STALLONE! SCHWARZENEGGER! STATHAM! LUNDGREN! STATHAM! SNIPES…