I apologize to everyone in advance if this whole thing is painfully obscure, but I discovered this today and it blew my mind, so I thought I’d attempt to blow yours because I like blowing people. Anyway, the backstory: So yesterday, the delightful Lindy West, everyone’s favorite Frotcast regular, did a spirited gif breakdown of a fantastically pompous Fox News editorial written by a guy who’d saved himself for his wedding night, talking about how great it was. Sex is fun, who knew? (Yeah, guy, us fornicators call that the “honeymoon period,” I promise you’ll see your girl in a whole new light once she’s come down from her pedestal and your constant, intense desire for sex isn’t coloring your every interaction – have fun with that. Might take like 6-8 months in your case). He refers to pre-marital sex-havers variously as “floozies,” “promiscuous charlatans,” “harlots,” and “mimbos,” because he apparently lives in the 1830s, in constant fear of Arab slave traders and the creeping negro menace. At the end of the guy’s article his bio said simply, “Steven Crowder is a comedian.”
Wow, talk about an invitation. Knowing this was likely a treasure trove of cringeworthy awfulness, I urged Lindy to investigate this further and she dug up (among other things, oy), Steven Crowder’s above appearance on Fox & Friends. It was thoroughly unsurprising in its cringeworthy awfulness and thus mostly un-newsworthy, until I came to a shocking epiphany: HOLY SH*T THIS IS LIGHTS CAMERA JACKSON FROM THE FUTURE!
THEY’RE PRACTICALLY WEARING THE SAME SHIRT! SET PHASERS TO DOPPLEGANGLE!
Behold:
I’d call this a cautionary tale, but something tells me most of the people who encourage Lights Camera Jackson’s brand of bland TV douche-mimicry would by positively thrilled if he grew up to be Steven Crowder.