FilmDrunk

The Definitive Breakdown Of ‘Twilight: Breaking HEARTS Part How Could You, K-Stew’

It has been less than 24 hours since I first saw Sports Illustrated’s Jimmy Traina Tweet the infamous video of the disappointed Twilight fan, but it has already gone from 301 to 229,609 views. That’s how you do viral, people. It either takes a person crazy enough to be that insane over an actress cheating on her actor boyfriend or someone brilliant enough to fake it. Either way, the Internet went bananas yesterday over the revelation that Kristen Stewart had cheated on Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Hunstman director, Rupert Sanders.

Plenty of Twilight fans are outraged that the kingdom of PattiStew could ever be corrupted, but most of them just can’t believe that Bella could cheat on Edward with a muggle. Wait, am I getting these terms right? Whatever. So despite the revelation by US Weekly and People, and the fact that Stewart and Sanders both issued apologies through their PR teams, the majority of Twihards or Twihearts believe that this is a massive conspiracy. (UPDATE: Pack his bags, he’s outta here, K-Stew don’t love him and K-Stew don’t care.)

But it all starts with one heartbroken fan…

Keep in mind, this is the same fan that went apeshit over the Breaking Dawn trailer and Tom Cruise commenting on her nail polish, so if she’s faking, she is Meryl Streep 2.0

As for the conspiracy, it’s mostly Ted Casablanca’s fault. Casablanca, a former E! Online “reporter” and current managing editor of The Wrap, Tweeted that this entire ordeal was staged. It was all downhill from there.

“Proof” began popping up everywhere, from lazy photoshops like this…

To much more intricate, borderline cries for help like these…

Then there are the people who think that these publications, despite being tabloid trash, would actually risk the millions they could lose in lawsuits by running lies. Behold, the Twihard Truthers.

So why? Why would someone go to all the trouble of breaking up a couple that had never actually announced even being a couple? Of course, there’s also Sanders, who is married with two children. Why would he agree to risk that for this insanely elaborate conspiracy? It can’t be for the benefit of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2, because even if they thought that the film could destroy box office records with a staged break-up followed by a convenient reconciliation, it wouldn’t be worth it for Sanders, who has no horse in the Twilight race. Besides, Pt. 2 will still kill at the box office even without this. And why break all of these hearts and cause such anger?

Not to mention those enterprising individuals who make their livings off of encouraging people to worship 22-year old actresses. This staged affair is taking food out of people’s mouths.

Throughout the chaous, though, there are people with hope. It will take time to sort through these ashes and figure out what exactly happened and why it took place. How did this kingdom of Camelot – or Forks, Oregon, if you will – crumble to tiny pieces around the people who worked so hard to build it up and lift it to the heavens? Hope and compassion will be the mortar and brick that rebuild this mighty empire of love.

Keep calm, indeed. Because true love is pure and it forgives mistakes. We must remain unbroken.

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