The Hangover: Does It Hold Up? The Five-Year Live-Blog.

It’s been five years since The Hangover rocked the box office like a hurricane. It’s the number one R-rated comedy of all-time, unless you count The Matrix Reloaded or adjust for intoflation (in which case Beverly Hills Cop murders it). Still, it’s a big deal, and we thought we’d mark the occasion by watching it all over again, drink in hand, phone in the other, and feetsies on the DVR control. I won’t tell you what we typed up the live blog with.

Note: I watched the unedited Hangover edition, but I didn’t notice too many differences. Maybe an extra curse word or two. No biggie.

:01: The beginning to The Hangover resembles Father of the Bride more than either party would like to admit.
:02: Hey, we’re starting at the end! I do enjoy Bradley Cooper with the grimaced, “That’s not going to happen”, as the bride person freaks out. Also, Todd Phillips doesn’t get enough credit for his musical choices:

:03: We’re introduced to Alan (Zach Galifianakis). He’s a live wire. How could the bride person be related to Alan in this life?
:05: Alan is the main character of The Hangover isn’t he? He’s the focal point. That’s an astute observation!
:08: Phil (Bradley Cooper) grafts off his students to pay for Vegas. Baller move, but who would have fallen for $80 per ticket to go to an observatory? I mean they’re kids, not saps.
:10: Stu’s girlfriend is a real bitch. You gotta know this so everything he does next is okay with us, the sentimental audience. If the girl is mean, fellas can then act the fool. Movie science.
:13: My first actual laugh of the film, when Alan steers them into a semi. And I don’t mean a penis!
:14: Re: Alan, “Is he all there, like mentally?” My second laugh. The Hangover is rolling.
:17: Strong musical choice number #2!

:19: Phil is right on this one, grown men shouldn’t be sharing beds in Vegas. C’mon people, it’s (usually) impossible to enjoy in-room porn with a buddy snoring right next to you.
:21: Phil wears an all black suit like a boss. There’s just no way he affords that on a grade school teacher salary. Probably a $3,000 suit.
:22: They play up Alan’s curves constantly in The Hangover. He’s being body shamed.
:23: Todd Phillips cameo! He was blowing that chick in the elevator!
:24: There’s no chance these four could get up to the roof of Caesar’s Palace.
:25: There’s been three references to “not remembering” or “what happens stays in Vegas” so far. One from the dad, one from Phil, one from Alan. We get it already, these amateurs are gonna do it to it.

Bad musical choice with:

And not too impressive to follow it up with “Fever”, either.

:27: Finally, the film has been set up. I enjoy the chicken walking around in the background, and the fisheye lens on Stu as he slides around is good as well. Alan’s drunken zombie walk is very solid. And at the time the tiger reveal was a transcendent laugh, a very nice gag, although there’s no way Alan would have escaped with his life, nor would Phil have been so cavalier about it. No one is that cool under fire, not even the Captain from Captain Crunch.
:30: Phil is clearly the Loki of this whole get-up. He seems legitimately thrilled that they have a tiger, a baby, no memory, and have lost white Doug. One interesting backstory would be Phil’s. How bad must the wife and kid be to cause this level of pathos in a human? And don’t we meet them later, and they are actually very sweet? Phil seems to be a sociopath, and this gives the rest of the gang a way to play off his devil-may-care attitude.
:34: Strong music! Three for five for director Fields. Larger point: this film is bathed in music that sets the scene. It’s a fairly weak technique, you just spend some money and throw a song in, but it’s still better than a voiceover.

:35: Phil sets up what will be the “mystery”. Follow the clues, we’ll work the night backwards. Also, that would be a good refrain for a club remix.
:37: Based on the HIPAA laws there’s no chance a doctor would be undressing an old man in front of three random dudes. And they bribe a doctor to see their own charts?
:41: They leave the baby in the car. Didn’t really notice that before, and it reveals them all to be unfit pet owners. Also, why don’t cop cars have little GPS locators on them?
:43: Stu married Heather Graham while he was messed up!
:44: I don’t think this movie passes the Bechdel test.
:45: Stu is the moral compass of the film. Also, why would Phil start getting freaked out by torching the cop car? Stealing a kid and a cop car is cool, but disposing the evidence is a bridge too far?
:47: Third laugh, when Alan is talking about Three Men and a Baby. I like that they go at the joke sideways. Underrated methodology.
:48: You’d have to be a little tempted to stay with Heather Graham here, right?
:50: I just realized Rob Riggle plays a cop here and in The Other Guys. Life’s like a box of chocolate.
:52: There’s an awful lot of hanging the phone up on women in this film. Where I come from they get really mad about that sort of thing.
:53: The taser angle is fun, though I can’t imagine they are looking for volunteers too often on that front.
:56: The little kid who tazes Alan has great comic timing. I look forward to seeing more of that young lad.
1:01: The used condom joke has been done to death. But Phil’s “C’mon guys, we gotta get this s*** together!” works for the sheer exuberance alone. And of course the following scene, Leslie Chow’s introduction, still works.
1:06: The Mike Tyson meets Phil Collins moment is good fun. But again, that tiger would have mauled Stu long before he escaped the bathroom. That tiger would go tiger (H/T Chris Rock).
1:10 I love the Haley’s Comet line. So random. And so Raven.
1:12: So how did they get the tiger from the car back to its cage? I want the full tiger backstory here.
1:14: How did Leslie Chow find them in order to hit them with a SUV? You think maybe he had the GPS thing for the Mercedes that I suggested the cops put on their car? Callback!
1:17: In spite of the obvious MacgGuffins, there’s still some solid writing in play here. For instance, two guys named Doug. That helps out the plot in a big way with a single stroke of the keyboard.

1:20: But seriously, how did they get the $10k from Stu’s bank for Alan to play blackjack with?
1:23: The pit boss wouldn’t have let Alan escape just because Heather Graham took a header. #JustSayin’
1:25: Where do they find these meeting places? I thought the middle of the desert was only for hiding bodies and binge eating peyote.
1:27: We’re back to the beginning! Bradley Cooper’s hair looks magnificent here. Black Doug the drug dealer would know what Rohypnol was (though they call it ruflin here).
1:29: Wouldn’t white Doug have been able to signal someone? I mean, besides the mattress.
1:33: Jade and Stu would have had a nice little future together. I stand by this. Plus, she’s an escort, so she knows her way around the sexy times.
1:35: I could do without the death metal. But the moving tuxedo van plays.
1:36: Diming out MapQuest. Not cool, Stu. MAN UP.
1:38: The Dan Band. Trivia: What was the other film they were prominent in? Hint: It was six years earlier, same director. Answer in the comment section and everyone will think you’re pretty cool. Unless you answer second, copying the first guy. You’ll catch hell for that sort of infraction.
1:39: See! Phil’s wife and kid are totally sweet! Why is he such a monster when he’s away from home? There’s gotta be more to this story. He’s probably on the lam for something.
1:40: “Sometimes I think all you want me to do is what you want me to do!” – Stu’s line to his girlfriend, and also the name of my next self-help book.
1:43: Photo montage ending, whoop whoop. Just zany images all the way around.

There you have it. The Hangover mostly holds up, and smart phone technology has improved so much in the past five years that you can always just check the Craigslist casual encounters section if you’re bored. I didn’t do that, but you might be more like Phil in your everyday dealings. No wonder guys like Alan want to bunk up wit’ ya!

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