DirecTV's Parental Guide Description for 5 Fast 5 Furious is Priceless

Someone sent this picture of DirecTV’s parental guide description for Fast Five to Danger Guerrero the other day, and I thought it deserved a post. This whole thing is a PSA that demands to be made! I still remember a “very special” disclaimer at the end of a Power Rangers episode, where a character (I think it was the Blue Ranger) carefully explained that, while the Power Rangers may go around using kung fu on monsters, that DOESN’T mean you should just go running around school kicking people for no reason, like I got suspended for around that time.

I’d LOVE to see the Rock or Vin Diesel breaking the fourth wall in a Fast Five-related More-You-Know spot. “You may watch my movies and think street racing is all fast cars and hot babes, but the truth is, street racing is dangerous! We perform these stunts using professional stuntmen on a closed course. In fact, I’m five foot six and super gay!”

What I want to know is why the parental guide says nothing about there being a character named “Han Seoul-Oh.” WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO WILL SPEAK OUT ABOUT THIS???