There’s A Real Guy Named ‘Alpacino’ In Oakland And He’s Been Charged With Murder

Ben Stiller and Justin Theroux probably thought they were riding that perfect line of parody in ‘Tropic Thunder’ when they wrote in a rapper named ‘Alpa Chino,’ which was close enough to real life to be believable, but still so over-the-top ridiculous that it still had room to be a joke. But when real humans are naming their children “Jermajesty” and “Kharringtyn” (don’t you dare think you get a pass on this one, white people) it’s pretty hard for fiction to out do reality. And as it turns out, there’s been a real guy named “Alpacino McDaniels” living in Oakland all along. Only instead of rapping about how much he loves the pussy (dripping down to the floor) he’s apparently been murdering people.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Two men have been charged with murdering a third man a year ago in West Oakland, officials said Monday.

Alpacino McDaniels, the alleged gunman, and Charles Fuller were charged late last month in the death of Teric Traylor on July 6, 2013.

McDaniels, 29, is facing additional charges of being a felon in possession of a gun, according to court documents. He has previous convictions for drug dealing and evading police.

Boy, with a name like Alpacino, he must really love Al Pacino, right? Or at least ‘Scarface.’ I mean you’d think so, wouldn’t you?

Alpacino McDaniels, 29, whose street name police said is Capone, and Charles Fuller, 31, have been charged with murder in the death of Teric Traylor, 23. [SanJoseMercuryNews]

It just goes to show, you try to give your kid a nice name you picked based on a famous portrayal of a murderous gangster played by an Italian-American actor, and what does he do? He goes and names himself after a different murderous gangster famously portrayed by an Italian-American actor. Poor Alpacino, he was always jealous of his brother, Robertdeniro McDaniels. That may have been what drove him to crime in the first place. I just hope he can finally find some peace behind bars, and maybe get a lighter sentence with the help of his lawyer, Johnnycochrane Jackson.