It’s kind of a great week! This week is so good I think I will sandbag some titles for next week. So if you’re one of them “Well why didn’t you mention X?” sort of fellows you can simmer right the heckfire down. This whole article is “To Be Continued”. On to the titles, so many solid historical pieces, and a few new pieces of “action” too. Really, we’re all pretty spoiled around here when you stop to think about it.
Here they be!
Top Netflix Streaming of the Week
Almost Famous
Lester Bangs man, Lester friggin’ Bangs. Phil Seymour Hoffman was the most significant actor loss of my life. Many others just kinda made me say, “Huh”. In fact, I got the news via text from a friend, and the text only read, “What a huge loss for cinema.” I figured it was someone dumb, or expected, so I even waited to get on the Internet to check for a few hours. When I did, ugh, it actually made me sad.
Horrible personal anecdote: I interviewed him, and he was easily, EASILY, out of hundreds of interviews that I did, the nicest person I talked to. Well, maybe him and Joan Cusack. But still, I would have paid to be his friend, and that’s odd, because I hate everyone. The movie is also very good, from a time when Cameron Crowe wasn’t doing things about zoos.
Top Netflix Streaming Movie Way That’s Better High
Labyrinth
“You remind me of the babe.”
“What babe?”
“The babe with the power.”
“What power?”
“The power of voodoo.”
“Who do?”
“You do.”
“Do what?”
“Remind me of the babe.”
Think on that for a little bit, and then get back to me. It’s been stuck in my head for about 20 years now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4gABvUhhkg
Top Netflix Streaming Flashback of the Week
30 for 30: Rand University
I didn’t know much about Randy Moss before catching this on the big sports network, but this captivated me. He’d always been just this quiet, slightly terrifying (against my Dolphins), football player. I mean, I knew West Virginia wasn’t all laughs and giggles, but this really drives it home. There’s a scene near the end where a guy who didn’t make it out, a former friend of Randy’s, says something that’s just depressing as hades. Worth watching for that last moment alone, more about football culture in America than Randy Moss. Kudos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES5HPkICZtY
Top Netflix Streaming Animation of the Week
The Truman Show
I mean, I liked it. There was a moment in time where Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey could have been actual contributors to acting, but we, as a group, decided we’d rather they made sequels and money grabs. The most compelling thing Carrey did after this was propose to Emma Stone. Super creepy, but also very emotional … much like The Truman Show. Man, I pivot-segued the crap outta that.
Top Netflix Streaming Sexy Times
Two Days in the Valley
Hands down, around your pant region, the best Charlize Theron sex scene in cinematic history, including all the stuff she did in Monster. Jimmy Spader is the same character he is in everything he does, except for “The Black List”, where he plays an idiot. But “Boston Legal”, Secretary, yessir, throw my hat in the ring for James Spader. The movie itself is slightly disjointed and meandering. Maybe just fast-forward to the Theron / Spader parts. That brassy saxophone (or trombone?) is exactly how all my love scenes play out.
Note: I wouldn’t go to the website they list at the end of this clip. Generally any website with “free” and “ass” in the title messes up your computer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYLL7cHxxHY
Top Netflix Streaming Submarine Suspense of the Week
About Cherry
This has got so many actors in it. What the hell happened? Dev Patel! Heather Graham! Jimmy Franco! And other assorted people! Just goes to show you, young filmmakers, you can have a great cast and all sorts of sex for sale, but the people don’t always come. Real life isn’t Field of Dreams.
Top Netflix Streaming Disaster of the Week
The Grand Seduction
Take it away, synopsis guys!
The cash-strapped burg of Tickle Cove must persuade a doctor to move to town if they want a plastics manufacturer to build a new factory there.
I can’t actually think of a worse idea for a movie that that. So benign, but also so boring. On the other hand (if you’re two-handed), the NY Times called it, “adorable” So what do I know? I’m just a word farmer, tilling the land for sentences.
Top Netflix Streaming “Just having fun out there” of the Week
Knightâs Tale
Another Bowie! The song “Golden Years” is all over this situation. This is a charming movie, Ledger and Bettany keep her humming right along. I like the villain too, but not enough to do research into who he is. His last name might be “Strong”. Mark Strong? There’s a chance that’s correct. A Knight’s Tale is the TBS movie you catch at 3:30 on a Saturday and end up watching for 45 minutes before someone comes in the room and slaps you out of it.
Top Paid Streaming Title of the Week
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes ($4.99, GooglePlay)
Not a very good movie, because it toys with various points of view before then turning around and pooping on them. Are the apes right? Are they just jerks? Yes. It’s just like the real world where everyone is right and everyone is wrong, except I don’t watch movies to hear philosophy from mo’capped sketch art of composite characters. I watch them to be alone in the dark.
Laremy is on Twitter and generally crushes anything that moves.