This Week In Posters: ‘Inherent Vice’ Wins Again

Senior Editor
11.19.14 28 Comments

I almost didn’t do a This Week In Posters this week, and then I saw this banner for Paul Thomas Anderson’s Inherent Vice, and realized I had to. This is just fantastic. Have you seen the trailer for this yet? You should. You can see the mega huge version of the poster here, which is retro in all the right ways (I should expect as much from the guy who gave us Boogie Nights). Is that sailboat on the horizon a reference to something? Anyway, I would paint this in my house. If I had a wall big enough. And some paint. And if I had a house. Paul Thomas Anderson should really buy me a house.

Oh, Chappie (trailer), my second biggest anticipation boner for the week. I like that even the bumper sticker cartoon has a huge gun in it for some reason.

I enjoy that the light bondage theme wasn’t suggestive enough on its own and so they added a tie as a dick metaphor. Wait, he’s going to tie her up… with his dick? Hmmm, I suppose that still works.

I wish this was a gif, where Jamie Dornan spread his legs wide and slowly rocked back and forth while his tie dong dangled back and forth between his legs alluringly. “It’s about sex, get it? Get it? Guys? Sex? Anyone? Sex?”

Lose control, but not so much so that you can’t still put on hip workout clothes. Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele look like they’re about to do some light bondage and then hit up Soulcycle.

I always wonder if the costume designers of these films are conscious of making the movie appeal to fans of the book. Kind of the way all the vampires in Twilight look like Hot Topic goths from Minnesota, Fifty Shades looks like edgy sex freaks as envisioned by Anne Taylor shoppers.

Is it racist to say that the hijab lends itself well to vampire imagery? Anyway, this poster is awesome. Loving the center-framed minimalism, and the laurel graphics almost look like horns. And there are hardly any lines in it. That’s how you poster.

I call this “what if Shepard Fairey designed a Hunger Games poster?” I suppose it’s fitting, Cat Nips Elbow Grease does indeed have a posse – Heymitch Jablome and the kid from the bakery who can’t close his mouth. Is Heymitch Jablome still alive or did he go up to the big arena in the sky with Futurebeard? I’m not looking this up.

Here’s one of many character posters from Pixar’s Inside Out. Get it? They’re emotions! This one isn’t doing it for me. None of them have the charisma of a Wall E or a Nemo or a Ratatouille.

I think Sam Rockwell is channeling Matthew McConaughey for this poster. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m going to assume this is one of those wacky family dramedies where one of them is the depressive writer type. It’s two art house conventions for the price of one!

Also, is that really supposed to be Natasha Lyonne on the left? I only figured this out by process of elimination, because that’s Isabelle McNally in the front. That’s how photoshopped she is. Did you know Natasha Lyonne invented vocal fry in the 1990s? That’s a true fact I just made up.

You need a nice diagonal horizon line to really bring out your knight/night puns. There are a bunch of these, by the way, and almost all of them night puns. What a fun job that must’ve been.

Not the greatest Photoshop work, but at least she’s not sideways for no reason. Progress? Also, are they required to have Big Ben in every shot? Was the taxi and police uniform (and lack of real gun) not enough to read “England?” Maybe next time squeeze some warm beer and mushy peas in there. I don’t know how they could represent warm beer visually, maybe with little stink lines like Linus? Just spit balling here.

A high roller, get it? Because he rides a Segway, get it? Again? Because Segways are funny.

For once I’m actually disappointed they went with the “2” naming convention. This should be “Paul Blart: Casino Security.” There are endless opportunities here. “Paul Blart: Astronaut.” “Paul Blart: Vacuum Cleaner Salesman.” “Paul Blart: Indianapolis Deputy Comptroller.” All he needs is a Segway and a job title and hilarity will ensue.

Say what you will about Ethan Hawke, he’s been rocking the mustache all the way through the years where mustaches weren’t cool, ironic or not. Also, this poster looks like the mainstream sci-fi equivalent of mixing all your paints togethr until

This poster is full of so many intriguing hints you might not notice upon first glance. The pillow. The cigarette. Danny Trejo. It makes me want to look up the trailer.

Okay, I watched it, and there was no Danny Trejo. I demand Danny Trejo. And her right hand didn’t seem as freakishly huge as I was promised.

WHY ARE THEY DIAGONAL? My neck hurts now. I hate this movie.

Oops, here’s another obnoxious diagonal. It’s like they’re taking their cues from pornos that try to squeeze a reverse cowgirl and a close-up into the same shot. STOP IT. I CAN’T TURN MY LAPTOP SIDEWAYS AND MASTURBATE AT THE SAME TIME.

That said, I met Gabe Polsky one time, and he gets a pass for producing the Werner Herzog Bad Lieutenant movie.

From iconic Oscar and Emmy Award-winning filmmakers, Red Army is a feature documentary about the Soviet Union and the most successful dynasty in sports history: the Red Army hockey team. Told from the perspective of its captain Slava Fetisov, the story portrays his transformation from national hero to political enemy. The film examines how sport mirrors social and cultural movements and parallels the rise and fall of the Red Army team with the Soviet Union. RED ARMY is an inspiring story about a man who stood up to a powerful system and paved the way for change for generations of Russians.

Maybe it’s just the BRAAAAAHM’s talking, but this looks pretty good.

Yes. Violent hobo Ewan McGregor is the best Ewan McGregor. It’s black and white and red and punchy all over.

This looks great, it’s just too bad I’m allergic to movies with prog rock album titles and black and white type writers and Zach Braff wearing a scarf.

James Franco, Mila Kunis, Jessica Chastain, and Zach Braff star in this dramatic and inventive look at the life and work of ionic Pulitzer Prize-winning poet C.K. Williams. Williams (Franco) has a beautiful, adoring wife (Kunis) and a young son. But as he prepares for a reading in New York City and struggles to create new work, he is haunted by memories of his past—from his first sexual encounter to a later tragic loss. An ensemble of 12 directors work with a star-studded cast to weave together this moving and unique story of a complex man and the relationships that defined him.

Oh good, it’s about a poet.

When you use a giant quote like that and then put the attribution in tiny unreadable font it feels like a tell that you’re embarrassed that it came from Marie Claire. Which is a shame, Marie Claire is a perfectly cromulent publication. Better Marie Claire than @MarieClaireFashion_69 or whatever.

Anyway, until next week, folks. May your horizon lines be diagonal and your imperfections brutally Photoshopped.

[all posters via IMPA]

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