Timur Bekmambetov’s ‘Squirrels’ Might Give The SyFy Network Some Competition

I’m still pretty hesitant to believe that this is really and isn’t part of some grand viral marketing scheme for another film, but apparently director Timur Bekmambetov has been hard at work trying to produce the film Squirrels, which is about – you guessed it – squirrels. Except these aren’t just any squirrels, because just like Alfred Hitchcock’s Birds and James Nguyen’s Birdemic, Squirrels is the story of what happens when nature’s nut hoarders get fed up with humans and decide to fight back.

A pre-production sales trailer for Squirrels hit the YouTubes over the weekend, and I assume that wherever Bekmambetov showed this clip, people just started throwing money and bank account numbers at him, because I can’t even count how many times I’ve thought, “If only someone had the balls to make a movie about a squirrel biting a little girl’s face off.”

As for the plot, it’s actually much deeper than just pissed off rodents.

When a young man’s estranged father is killed under suspicious circumstances, he returns home for the first time in years to get to the bottom of the mystery. Hoping to uncover some logical explanation, he instead finds his mom’s sleazy new boyfriend, a natural gas company buying up the town, an angry female sheriff who happens to be his ex-girlfriend, and an army of flesh-eating squirrels hellbent on destroying everything in their path due to an erosion of their food chain as a result of environmental destruction by the gas company.

Bleeding Cool reported that Machete’s Ethan Maniquis has been picked to direct this Bekmambetov production, but all I want to know is whether or not any of the squirrels know Kung Fu. Because they should.