Today’s Installment of “Shut up, Ashton Kutcher”

Senior Editor
11.30.11 25 Comments

This week, Variety has a series on actors praising other actors in the year’s most praise-worthy performances. Basically, it’s the kind of awards-season circle jerk and fart-huffery that we’ve come to expect in the winter months. “Me? I know I couldn’t please, please, after you. (*raises cheek*) OOH! How robust! Good show, old chap!” Anyway, I haven’t gotten through all of them, but so far, it’s between Robert Duvall on Christoph Waltz and Jason Bateman on Steve Carell for who comes off the least A-holey. Meanwhile, Variety brought in Ashton Kutcher to discuss Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, which was noteworthy in that he was able to maintain his streak of sounding like a pedantic dick no matter what he says.

“It was my favorite performance of the year. She just made me laugh really hard. It was so refreshing to watch a woman be the way I know women to be. They’re a little bit crass and a little bit more honest than they’re usually portrayed to be. It was just a revelatory performance.”

“I know women, and when I saw Melissa McCarthy up there on that screen, I was like, ‘Aw hell yeah, women be shittin’, y’all.’ I almost be droppin’ my Mountain Dew latte.”

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