As we’ve been over on a few occasions, say what you will about Tyler Perry’s movies (let’s leave it at “they’re not good“), the intense connection he has with his fans is either inspiring or terrifying, I’m not sure which. It’s definitely fascinating. When Tyler Perry makes a new movie or even puts out a YouTube video, his fans treat it like it was made by a family member. And in turn, Tyler Perry keeps them updated about all the things going on in his life and the thoughts that go through his head, which he takes great pains to spin into life advice. It seems to be a fulfilling relationship for both parties, so no judgment there. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still make fun of it, because let’s be honest, this sh*t is hilarious.
Last time out, it was a story about drilling for groundwater on his property that led Reverend Tyler Perry (of the First Ecumenical Church of Tyler Perry based on Tyler Perry’s bible starring Tyler Perry) to sign off his email, “DDDDIIGGGGGG! People DIG!!!” This time around, the story is about turbulence on his private plane. Curious how he’s going to spin this one? Just stand back and let the master go to work:
Now on to why I’m writing. It’s about 6am here. Really quiet. The kind of quiet where even a still small voice can sound like a scream. I was sitting here thinking about the first time I took a flight on a small private jet. Many of you know that I’m an aviation buff. I love planes and flying. That’s crazy, seeing as how my passion for it started out as a way to get over my fears. And my first flight was my scariest.
[…]
After about ten minuets of being bounced around I asked the pilots why it was so rough. They told me that it would get better as soon as they were allowed to climb higher. I asked who was holding us at that altitude and they said Air Traffic Control. There were a lot of planes in the area and for our own safety we had to stay at that altitude.
I imagine “minuets” was a typo, and that he meant “minutes,” but I also wouldn’t be surprised if they do classical French dances on these crazy planes where passengers can just get up and ask the pilots questions and start making demands. I asked a stewardess on a Delta flight for extra peanuts once and she pulled a knife on me.
I sat down, bouncing around some more, white knuckled and all, until the flight attendant told me that we had just been cleared to climb higher. I felt the plane pitch up and the thrust of those powerful jet engines kick in. We bounced around some more. It seemed to have gotten worse. Visibility through my window was non-existent. I was about to ask them to land and let me off the plane. But then we broke through the clouds. There was the sun and the air was so smooth that it didn’t even feel like we were moving.
Oh man, I can sense it. This metaphor is just about to break through the cloud cover…
By now, I’m sure you’re wondering, “why am I reading all this?” Well, I’ll tell you. Flying through rough weather is a lot like making it through life. Sometimes there are a lot of dark clouds, a lot of bad moments. So bad that you want to give up or turn around like I wanted to. Sometimes you can’t go higher because something or someone is trying to hold you back or you’re being held at that altitude for your own safety. Sometimes you’re not ready to go higher. God is protecting you from yourself because he knows that you can’t handle going higher.
Awwww yeah, there it is. JESUS! Just hiding where you least expect him, that little scamp. “And I looked back and noticed that there was only one set of footsteps in the aisle where I’d spilled some fine Syrah earlier…”
Sometimes he’s hiding you, preparing you to be ready. (That gave me a million thoughts. I’ll save that for another email). Sometimes it’s so dark you can’t see which way to go. But just like air traffic control had to give us permission to go higher, this morning I wanted to give you permission to go higher. Climb!! The weather is so much better up there. The sun is shinning bright up higher. Stop living your life so low.
Now it’s not going to be easy to get through those clouds. You’re going to have to hold your head up and use all the strength in your soul to get through, but you will. Use prayer as your fuel and go higher.
Oh shit, son, prayer as fuel. This metaphor just kicked it up a notch.
You have just been given permission to climb higher. Fly above it all.
And this is how you know Tyler Perry is a born storyteller. He really made you believe that he, Tyler Perry, was giving you, the reader, permission to become a better person. And you end up feeling inspired and grateful to him for it, all thanks to a story the gist of which basically was, “life is hard, but when you’re going through a rough patch, like maybe you lost your job, or your wife left you, or you lost custody of the kids you’re not even sure are really yours, just think about the time I got scared because I hit some turbulence in my private jet. You’re welcome, Tyler Perry.”
This has been another exciting episode of Metaphor Time, with Tyler Perry.