VIDEO: Trolling in the analog age

With trolling the hot topic on everyone’s pussy lips after Rottentomatoes took the unprecedented step of suspending commenting on ALL Dark Knight Rises reviews this week, I thought it’d be fun to take a look back at the days when trolling took a little more work than simply firing off a misspelled death threat to some pinko who panned that batman movie you’re pretty sure is going to be awesome. This video, from our friends at EverythingisTerrible (awesome site) comes from the lost, 1986 VHS entitled “Revenge Tactics That Work.” It’s basically a primer on how to be a huge dick to everyone around you, from the days when doing so required more than just a computer and a few commenter accounts.

“Buy your loved one a locking gas cap, then keep the key yourself.”

“Squirt some crazy glue in your loved one’s door locks.”

“Break off a toothpick in your loved one’s ignition switch.”

And my personal favorite:

“Chain your loved one’s car to a tree.”

Bitch break your heart? Chain that bitch’s car to a tree! This video proves that good trolling doesn’t have to be sly or clever or creative, it just has to be brazenly dickish. “Don’t like someone? Here’s a pro tip – sock him in the dick while he’s sleeping! Just walk right up to him and stab him in the belly, then burn his house down!”