FilmDrunk

Weekend Movie Guide: I AM THE LAW!

In Theaters Everywhere: Dredd 3D, House at the End of the Street, End of Watch, Trouble with the Curve

FilmDrunk Suggests: Flip a coin for Dredd 3D (which Vince really liked) and End of Watch, which I think looks fantastic. Dredd 3D is my Sunday Movie Day movie of choice for this week, though, because Karl Urban is my bro. Did You Know: Between Urban and my undying love for Rosamund Pike, DOOM is watchable? It’s true.

Dredd 3D

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 77% critics, 86% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Every so often there’s a suggestion that a police state may actually be a lousy idea, but this thought dies even faster than the disposable characters.” – Manohla Dargis, N.Y. Times

“Proves a surprisingly unimaginative cops vs. drug lord story, complete with the weathered veteran forced to take a rookie under his wing.” – Frank Lovece, Newsday

Armchair Analysis: I’d love to line up every smarmy, fart-sniffing film critic and just spend an afternoon flicking boogers at them for every stupid complaint they’ve ever written about a comic book movie. I’m not going to read Vince’s review of Dredd 3D until after I’ve seen it this weekend, but it looks fantastic. And aside from one stupid complaint of mine (why don’t they just blow up the whole building and move on?) we should be thankful that we finally have something to replace the abomination that Sylvester Stallone unleashed on us during his “I should be best friends with Rob Schneider” phase. If you’re a critic and you analyze this movie as anything more than a comic book about an apocalyptic cop who shoots first and asks questions later, then I hope your nuts get stapled to a seesaw.

House at the End of the Street

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 19% critics, 81% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“By the third act, you or someone sitting near you will be whispering, muttering or just plain shouting at the screen.” – Roger Moore, McClatchy-Tribune News Service (Way to set every blogger up for the easiest black people joke ever.)

“Lawrence is perfectly in character yet somehow outside it too, floating above Elissa and the weak movie alike.” – Rick Groen, Globe and Mail

Armchair Analysis: Between this and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s bicycle messenger movie, we’re seeing the prime examples of studios invoking the “Hey, we gave you a franchise, now you owe us a sh*tty film” clause in young stars’ contracts.

End of Watch

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 86% critics, 88% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Gyllenhaal and the perpetually under-rated Pena have a wonderful way of bouncing off one another and Ayers is wise to make this the energy that drives the movie instead of mere violence.” – Tom Long, Detroit News

“A visceral story of beat cops that is rare in its sensitivity, rash in its violence and raw in its humor.” – Betsy Sharkey, L.A. Times

Armchair Analysis: I was on the fence about End of Watch when I first saw the trailer, but after the last few weeks of duds, this movie looks like a damn masterpiece right about now. It also helps that it actually looks very good.

Trouble with the Curve

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 55% critics, 58% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Even if Eastwood’s grumpy old man routine wears you down – it’s perhaps too much of a not-very-good thing – there are lots of terrific second bananas.” – Stephanie Zacharek, Film.com

“’Trouble With the Curve’ as predictable and suspenseless as a children’s film. It’s a softball straight down the middle.” – Rafer Guzman, Newsday

Armchair Analysis: I love most baseball movies and Clint Eastwood is my grand-BRO. Unfortunately, the reviews I’ve read do not look good. I give Matthew Lillard credit, though, for getting back on the baseball movie horse and trying to make up for being a part of the worst sports movie ever made.

[I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR BASHING SUMMER CATCH, BURNSY, NEVER!!!!! -Vince]

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