Weekend Movie Guide: Just The Hunger Games

Opening Everywhere: The Hunger Games

Still in Theaters: 21 Jump Street. I have unjustifiably not seen this yet. That will be remedied this weekend, but in the meantime I accept my punishment of 100 Harlem shuffles.

FilmDrunk Suggests: It’s a pretty slow week, as nobody wanted to step up against The Hunger Games, and rightfully so, because the story of Katpiss and the lady with the hair is gonna blow your mind. What’s that? It’s Katniss? Well, that’s just a stupid name. [picture source]

The Hunger Games

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 87% critics, 95% audience, 0% girls who are all like TEEM EDWRD, STOOPID KATNIS B1CHES!

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“The film’s failings aren’t entirely its own making. In trying to match the novel’s myriad cast, Games paints a raft of characters it can’t support, leaving deaths that should be heartrending more as a pause in the action. And while Katniss and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) are emotionally layered in the novel, here they are simpler souls, two-thirds of a rickety love triangle.” – Scott Bowles, USA Today

“This is better than any of the ‘Twilights.’” – Amy Biancolli, San Francisco Chronicle (Seriously, that should be the only quote used on any advertising.)

Armchair Analysis: Every girl I know swears that the books in this series are awesome, and I know a bunch of guys who say the same thing. I’m down for dystopian tales, because we’re totes heading in that direction, but the idea of cities or tribes or districts or whatever making children fight to the death to win food supplies, while very cool, is just silly. Everyone knows that we’re going to be separated into factions of rich and poor, with the latter having no chance at receiving any sort of favor from the former. In fact, the poor will still have to fight to the death, but it’s going to be for stuff like cures and maybe a meal for one person. You know, ancient Roman gladiator type stuff. And sure, there will be talk of the poor and malnourished rising up in the name of equality and fairness, but they’re not going to be able to fight against the biological weapons that the new government will gladly use on the “outlanders” to help thin out the population. Really, the only chance the apocalyptic underclass will have is a zombie outbreak, which would essentially level the playing field and take the power away from the upper class by destroying the need for money. But, I mean, aside from mass voodoo rituals, how do you expect to manage a zombie hoard without sacrificing all of mankind in the process? It’s a fatal trade-off. I’m not saying it’s not doable, but it’s definitely going to take a well-thought-out approach, and I’m not saying that I’ve accumulated more than 4,000 pages of detailed plans and information on how to make this happen, but let’s just say if it does I’ll be more than prepared.

That said, The Hunger Games is a lock for one of the highest grossing films of the year and it seems like a great bet for an entertaining weekend flick.

[Vince’s Note: I just hope Jennifer Lawrence remembers that I had a super pervy crush on her before it was cool. *flips scarf, caresses wiener*]

21 Jump Street

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 85% critics, 91% audience

Armchair Analysis: I’m only including this again, because it not only won the box office in its opening weekend and secured a sequel before it was even released, but Jump Street has garnered rave reviews for Channing Tatum, and I just wanted to honor our favorite mumbly B-boy, as he has risen from this:

All the way to this: