Opening Somewhere: The Descendants
FilmDrunk suggests: A bottle of merlot, that special someone, and Dream Zone Entertainment’s greatest hits. But Vince also likes Twilight.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 26% critics, 92% lonely, horny audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
“By any normal standard, this is a terrible movie, with stilted dialogue and leaden pacing—every 15 minutes or so, the action stops for a musical montage involving slow-motion handsomeness.” – Dana Stevens, Slate
“Not so with the outset of the film, where we’re treated to an absolutely brutal wedding spectacle followed by an even worse ‘bedroom’ scene on what seems to be the honeymoon of eternal cheese. At the beginning of the movie, it’s not so much that The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part One is tone deaf as it is lacking any tone at all.” – Vince’s own Edward, Laremy Legel, Film.com
Armchair Analysis: What can I say that you don’t expect me to say? I’ve watched the first film in the saga, so I live by the assumption that the rest are just as terrible. I mean, they couldn’t have thrown together a worse collection of actors if they formed a casting line at Wal-Mart. But if my therapist told me that I had to pick one positive thing to focus on, I would say that Ashley Greene could make me watch Alzheimer’s patients reenact Ishtar.