Maybe I’m going soft, but there are a lot of new movies hitting DVD this week, and quite a few of them are indies/low-budget/foreign films that actually look good, which is fortunate because the mainstream Hollywood fare is stuff like Battleship and Think Like A Man. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t all look amazing, it’s just unusual to find so many that don’t look too bad. Probably has something to do with the sheer volume of new DVDs this week. In fact, there are so many movies this week that I’m mostly featuring the ones that either look legitimately good or -regardless of quality- star somebody you’ve heard of -and just to give you an idea of just how wonderful this week is, I’ll even give a quick rundown of some of the new DVDs that I am NOT featuring.
The Featured DVDs:
Battleship
The Lucky One
Think Like A Man
The Pirates! Band Of Misfits
Darling Companion
L!fe Happens
A Beginner’s Guide To Endings
The Moth Diaries
Citizen Gangster
Blind Revenge
Monsieur Lazhar
The Heineken Kidnapping
The Viral Factor
Fist Of The Reich
Nate & Margaret
Apartment 143
Battleground
The Newest Pledge
Below Zero
The Not-Featured DVDs:
Starship Troopers: Invasion -Casper Van Dien executive produces this all-CGI flick, even though somebody else is voicing Johnny Rico.
I Am Gabriel -Dean Cain stars in this flick about a town that’s brought to Christ when a mysterious young boy shows up. Is he the angel Gabriel?
Jersey Shore Shark Attack -Dustin Rowles mocked this SyFy original over at Warming Glow, and they returned the favor by misspelling his name in the critics’ blurb on the box cover.
Blood Money -A martial arts flick starring Pitbull. Yes, that Pitbull.
Lovely Molly -A partially found-footage flick from one of the directors of The Blair Witch Project. I’m guessing he was the one responsible for all the sh*tty parts.
Penumbra -Devil worshipers trying to raise the antichrist (I’m assuming) during a solar eclipse. Actually looks pretty decent.
Area 407 -Found footage Jurassic Park. So, basically a preview of Jurassic Park 4.
Apocalypse of the Dead -Zombies, of course.
One Hour To Die: You Have All Been Poisoned -Approximate running time: 80 minutes.
Shark Week -For those who like their SyFy reality rip-offs more like Survivor and less like, well, Jersey Shore.
Rewind -Irish thriller. I got nothin’.
Neverlost -Can’t find my notes about this one.
Sex Money And You Already Know 2 -The first one sucked.
Holy crap, that’s a lot of detail for ‘not-featured’ flicks. Just imagine what’s in store for you if you keep reading about the featured DVDs. (And don’t worry, I do take the time to poop on a few of ’em. I know you like that sort of thing.) If you’re already tired of all of this, at least hit up the Netflix page by following the link here.
Battleship
