The Featured DVDs:
Battleship
The Lucky One
Think Like A Man
The Pirates! Band Of Misfits
Darling Companion
L!fe Happens
A Beginner’s Guide To Endings
The Moth Diaries
Citizen Gangster
Blind Revenge
Monsieur Lazhar
The Heineken Kidnapping
The Viral Factor
Fist Of The Reich
Nate & Margaret
Apartment 143
Battleground
The Newest Pledge
Below Zero
The Not-Featured DVDs:
Starship Troopers: Invasion -Casper Van Dien executive produces this all-CGI flick, even though somebody else is voicing Johnny Rico.
I Am Gabriel -Dean Cain stars in this flick about a town that’s brought to Christ when a mysterious young boy shows up. Is he the angel Gabriel?
Jersey Shore Shark Attack -Dustin Rowles mocked this SyFy original over at Warming Glow, and they returned the favor by misspelling his name in the critics’ blurb on the box cover.
Blood Money -A martial arts flick starring Pitbull. Yes, that Pitbull.
Lovely Molly -A partially found-footage flick from one of the directors of The Blair Witch Project. I’m guessing he was the one responsible for all the sh*tty parts.
Penumbra -Devil worshipers trying to raise the antichrist (I’m assuming) during a solar eclipse. Actually looks pretty decent.
Area 407 -Found footage Jurassic Park. So, basically a preview of Jurassic Park 4.
Apocalypse of the Dead -Zombies, of course.
One Hour To Die: You Have All Been Poisoned -Approximate running time: 80 minutes.
Shark Week -For those who like their SyFy reality rip-offs more like Survivor and less like, well, Jersey Shore.
Rewind -Irish thriller. I got nothin’.
Neverlost -Can’t find my notes about this one.
Sex Money And You Already Know 2 -The first one sucked.
Holy crap, that’s a lot of detail for ‘not-featured’ flicks. Just imagine what’s in store for you if you keep reading about the featured DVDs. (And don’t worry, I do take the time to poop on a few of ’em. I know you like that sort of thing.) If you’re already tired of all of this, at least hit up the Netflix page by following the link here.