Pixels could have been a good movie. No, really! It’s based on a solid premise! The original Pixels short film was cool, the episode of Futurama that obviously inspired it was great, and Disney tapped ancient arcade characters to great effect in Wreck-It Ralph. Unfortunately no premise, no matter how proven, is a match for the entertainment kryptonite that is 2000s Adam Sandler.
Honest Trailers takes it to Pixels for exhibiting all the usual modern Sandler faults — him dragging good actors like Peter Dinklage and Sean Bean through the mud, his obsession with shlubs dating women out of their league — but they also point out some of the movie’s more extreme oddities. Like, say, it being implied Peter Dinklage had a threesome with Martha Stewart and Serena Williams. Or Q*Bert disguising himself as a hot girl that Josh Gad ends up having Q*Bert babies with. Are there any Q*Bert biologists in the house? Because I’ve got some serious questions about that little twist.
Looking at the bright side, Pixels may be the movie that ended Sandler’s monstrous silver-screen reign. After a disappointing take at the domestic box office, Sandler took refuge on Netflix and has no new theatrical movies in the works. Silver linings, folks.
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