The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is one of those games people can find themselves losing hours, days, or weeks engrossed in, especially when they discover a task in the game they absolutely need to master. When a cute rescue dog is also involved, that Skyrim addiction can become maddening.
Patrick Lenton, a writer from Sydney, Australia, discovered this and relayed the story for everyone’s amusement. Lenton was playing as a lady cat-wizard (as one does) when he happened upon an abandoned dog who became his entire focus. Adopting a dog can be incredibly complicated in Skyrim, as Lenton learned through this hilarious, stressful experience. He told the tale in a series of tweets, and it’s a knee-slapper:
Lenton also summed up the story in emoji form, if you’re in a rush:
😀🗡 😐🗡🐶 😤🗡🐶🏠 😡🗡🐶💁🏠 😶🗡🐶💁🐭 😒🗡🐶💁🐭👰👦 😅🚶🐶🏡 😳🗡💨👦☠ 🐶🌈🍾 the end! #skyrimstory
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
He also had to deal with the “Well, ACTUALLY” bros questioning his story:
people questioning why I didn't just reload, I have two rules with games:
* commit to the narrative
* accept all consequences (NO RELOADS)— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
dudes who are poking 'holes' in my Skyrim story, I just want you to know: these are v serious allegations, see you in a court of law
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
I suppose it's about ethics in skyrim dog adoption
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
And he gave an update on what happened to the other, less adorable, lost dog:
oh – the demon dog is fine ya'll. I reunited him with his creepy master who is a demon lord, it was heartwarming/ sinister
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
He also hinted at another story for another time:
Omg you guys, I'll tell you about the time I went on Grindr as my elf from Skyrim, it was actually heartwarming
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
Pretty soon, positive responses about his Skyrim experience — as opposed to just nitpicks about game mechanics — were flowing his way:
GUYS
SOME EXCELLENT RANDOM SENT ME 10 EUROS VIA PAYPAL WITH THE NOTE
'DOG FOOD'
AAAAAAAAAAARGH
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
Lenton realized he had a potentially viral set of tweets, so before he went to bed back home in Australia, he left a message for any of us who might see it later:
hey, so i'm probably going to go to bed, but if this goes viral in the US while I'm asleep, I guess… don't vote Trump?
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
Deal.
(Via Patrick Lenton, Storify, and Kotaku)