Abraham Lincoln Vs. History's Vampires: Cassidy

Senior Contributor
06.20.12 7 Comments

Yesterday, we decided Morbius couldn’t take Honest Abe. Today, we’ve got another vampire from comics: Proinsias Cassidy, the Irish vampire.

Cassidy would seem to have a lot of advantages: he’s got super-strength, he’s vicious when cornered, and he’s fairly intelligent. Cassidy would likely show up to a fight like this with a gun. He’s also more durable than even Morbius: the only traditional weapon that kills him is sunlight, although he has slightly less of a healing factor.

But realistically? Cassidy is probably going down, and he’s going down hard.

Cassidy’s main problem is that he can’t fight. He relies on his superhuman strength and speed, but that’s not an overwhelming advantage. As we see multiple times in “Preacher”, a well-armed or simply better trained human can actually beat him senseless in a straight-up fight; Cassidy loses more fights than he wins in the course of the book. He’s been picked apart by sniper rifles, gotten the drop on by serial killers, and once he was even defeated by a cat and his own stupidity.

Furthermore, his main character trait is to be unthinking and reckless. He’s as likely to charge Lincoln with his bare fists as he is to think about his attack.

Lincoln, on the other hand, is a skilled fighter, who’s well armed and trained in vampire killing. Granted, Cassidy is tough enough, and silver tongued enough, that he might be able to avoid being killed. But it’s hard to see any situation in which everybody’s favorite Irish vampire doesn’t get the business end of an axe.

What about you? How do you think the fight would go?

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