Everybody In The World And Bill Nighy Cast In Total Recall Remake

They’re apparently still going through with the remake of 1990’s sci-fi action flick Total Recall, as just about everyone in Hollywood has been added to the cast over the last few days. And while the plot’s going to be completely different, they’ve kept all the character names the same, just to hammer home how unnecessary this remake is. (After all, if they were going to be making a new movie based on the original Philip K. Dick story, why not call it We Can Remember It For You Wholesale?)

The latest hires? Bill Nighy (Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest) has been cast as resistance leader Quatto, who you might remember from the original film as a disgusting baby head sticking out the belly of a Martian mutant. Kate Beckinsale has been cast as Arnie-replacement Colin Farrell’s wife (think Sharon Stone in the original) and Jessica Biel has been cast as Melina, the prostitute-turned-resistance fighter that was played by Rachel Ticotin in the original film. John Cho’s also just been hired to play McClane, the salesman for Rekall that sells Colin Farrell his fake memories. (And yes, Farrell’s character will be called Douglas Quaid like the movie, instead of Douglas Quail, like the original story.)

The crazy thing is that everyone’s saying that this version will be much more true to Dick’s original short story. Which is fine and good, but the original story was actually about a guy who thinks he might’ve got to Mars, while the remake will take place on Earth and involve the “nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai, with Douglas Quaid (Farrell) a factory worker in the latter who begins to believe he is a spy, although he doesn’t know for which side.” So, we’re in the insane position of having an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that’s more faithful to the source material than it’s remake.

Isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse?

[via The Film Stage]