3 Reasons Minesweeper Has Achievements Now

Apparently, among the many updates to Windows 8 will be the fact that the little time-wasters originally included to teach people how to use the mouse that are now included by rote tradition and ill consideration now have Achievements.

Yes, with a capital A. Unlocking them will add to your Gamerscore! Feel the excitement!

Not that I hate these games but come on, Microsoft. Achievements? Even worse is how lame these achievements are. Lose a game in Minesweeper, Achievement Unlocked. Change a background in Mahjongg, Achievement Unlocked.

Why the hell is Microsoft doing this? It’s actually pretty easy to explain, once you think like a Microsoft executive.

Insane Overkill is Pretty Much Classic Microsoft

This is Microsoft. If anything, anything at all, is worth doing, it’s worth overdoing. Want to phase out menus in Office? Let’s make everything go under one big-ass button. Want to combine Hotmail and Outlook? OK, let’s stuff that into every single thing we touch that has a microprocessor.

In short, this is just how Microsoft does things. Restraint is a foreign concept to the company. So is ludicrousness.

Everything Is Going to Be More Tightly Integrated Under Windows 8. Everything.

Microsoft semi-officially confirmed a new Xbox was on the way by announcing that the next one would have Outlook sitting on it.

Why? Hell, who knows? I don’t know anybody who uses a game console to check their email, but Microsoft thinks it does. Windows 8 is their bid to reclaim consumer relevance from Android, and it’s going to be aggressive.

Expect more weirdness like this when Windows 8 comes out. A lot more.

Casual Gamers Sell Games, And You Don’t Get More Casual Than This

I’ve little doubt Microsoft sees these games as “gateway drugs” to Fruit Ninja and buying a Kinect. Even if that’s not being knocked around consciously, somebody’s thinking it. It’s the same reason Avatar Famestars, which is literally just another version of the Gamerscore, was released: reel ’em in.

In short, if you thought this was ridiculous… just wait until the next Xbox comes out.