10 hilarious tweets from comedian Megan Amram

Trying to pick Megan Amram’s 10 greatest tweets is something of an impossible task, because every single thing on her feed belongs inside one of those Indiana Jones temples next to skulls made of the most golden gold, chalices inlaid with rubies, and piles and piles of all the Bitcoin you could ever hope to get your hands on.

Which is to say: put a gun to my head and I’d have to argue that Megan is one of the cleverest human beings in the entire world. (Unless the point of the gun to my head is to get me to say that you are the cleverest human being in the entire world, in which case, yes, you’re very funny, please don’t shoot.)

Megan, who tweets as @meganamram, is a prolific jokester who currently writes for your favorite show, “Parks & Recreation.” Here are just 10 of what could very easily be a list of hundreds of perfect tweets.

10. Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads

9. Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn’t have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.

8. WHY was Mario Kart not called “Mario Speedwagon”

7. There’s no way to prove that all murders aren’t just time travelers killing future Hitlers

6. “I like this girl but she doesn’t even know I exist” – God

5. If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography

4. “I” before “e” except after “Old MacDonald had a farm”

3. At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose

2. This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It’s in my living room, only my family showed up, and they’re just telling me to stop drinking.

1. I think the most fucked up thing about the Catholic Church is that they force Bishops to only move in diagonals

Follow us on Twitter: @HitFixRiot