10 hilarious tweets from comedian Neal Brennan

Neal Brennan is a terrific comedian and writer, responsible for co-creating that gem of funny TV, “Chappelle’s Show.”  (Anyone know what happened with that series? It just sort of faded away, didn’t it?) Currently, Neal co-hosts a podcast called The Champs with Moshe Kasher and DJ Douggpound, and performs jokes from stages across the country.

Neal tweets as @nealbrennan, as that is his name. Here are 10 highlights from the comic’s always-funny feed.

10. Just tried to switch to Bing. Google was like, “You can, but it’d be a real shame if some of your old searches got out.”

9. Just unfollowed the Pope for the second time in my life.

8. I like how on cop cars, “To protect and serve” is in quotes, like they’re being sarcastic.

7. The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a fucking cloth balloon with a basket attached.

6. I’m so gangster, I don’t even report to Apple when Safari unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.

5. Bicycle helmets save lives. Because if you wear one, women will never have sex with you, so you’ll never get AIDS.

4. The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.

3. Skrillex looks like he got his hair cut by one of his songs.

2. “You know what the best music ever was? The music I liked when I was 19.” Everyone.

1. Marriage = Betting someone half your shit that you’ll love them forever.

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