7 Hilarious Insights Tina Fey Has Shared on Letterman

09.08.14 5 years ago

Because Tina Fey is talented in many ways (like sedating Alec Baldwin), it's easy to underestimate the fact that she's one of our most awesome talk show guests. Every late-night Q&A with Tina is a must-see, and she seems to save her biggest and best revelations for chats with David Letterman. We've compiled seven of her most hilarious insights over the years with Dave (including one from her appearance on Friday's “Late Show”), and if anything, their talks will teach you a lot about the terrors of parenting even the cutest child.

1. The Emmys fill you with terrible dread.

“I always feel like going to the Emmys is like going to your wedding but you don't know if the guy is going to show up. I put on my wedding dress, gather my dignity, and all my relatives will watch.”

2. Speaking of dread: Thank God Tina had a second daughter because she feared having a son.

“I don't want little rubber dinosaurs in my house. Barbies, I'm used to the Barbies. Tea parties. I like that stuff. I don't want the Transformers. The robots? Ugh! So boring! So boring.”

3. Her daughter might be a sociopath. 

“When she does bad stuff like touch the stove and I say, 'No, no, don't do that!' She just goes like, 'Oh. Sorry.' I'll turn around and she's, like, choking the dog, and she just goes, 'Oh. Sorry.' I was giving her a bath one night and she was over-tired, in her defense. I said, 'Bath time over! I know, you're tired!' I wrapped her up in a cute towel. She looked me square in the eyes and with two tiny little hands choked me. Full-on. It's so funny because they're not strong enough to kill you. And they want to kill you so bad.”

4. Tina Fey has nude photos, but you'll never recognize her from them.

“That's why all my nudes are very, very extreme closeups of my butt. So you never know it's me. Like, a microscope closeup. Thousands of them.”

5. She accidentally drank at work. Constantly.

“Kombucha. It's this fermented drink. It smells horrible, but it tastes… horrible. It smells like vinegar, like someone left a wine cooler in a hot car. Disgusting. It has chunks of slime in it. But you drink it and you get this great energy from it. I was starting to drink it every afternoon on set and I was like, 'Woo! Everybody! I feel great!' Then someone pointed out to me that it's booze. It's fermented. I was basically drinking on the job.”

6. She once tried to bake a Mickey Mouse cake. It didn't turn out quite right.

Just click over to 5:40 to see Tina's terrifying “Eastern European” Mickey Mouse cake.

7. Shocker: She thinks she doesn't look like Sarah Palin.

“I notice on Fox News they call her 'Governor Palin.' That's like calling me 'Dairy Queen Employee.' I was once?”

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