5 dumb questions for Aimee Mann

Look, I get it: there is no such thing as “perfect.” And even if there were such a thing as perfect, it would have to be a subjective concept. I understand. And I’m not arguing for the existence of perfection as a philosophical concept, all I’m saying is that if you were to ask a group of people to invent a perfect person, a lot of them would come back with someone who seems an awful lot like Aimee Mann.

The flaxen-haired songstress (that’s the the grossest description I could come up with) is beautiful, talented, and also sharply hilarious, as her Twitter and series of Tom Scharpling directed music videos will show. And best of all? She was willing to answer a bunch of stupid questions for Riot*. Thanks, Mr. Jim-Jams!

*it’s six – I can’t count

Aimee, hello! Tell me: what is your least favorite band of all time and how come? I wouldn’t want to disparage an entire band, but I will say that “Come On Eileen” is in my top 2 most hated songs of all time.

Who is #3 on your list of celebrity crushes? Any time I’ve had a crush on a celebrity I end up being repulsed by them after a few years, so let’s just cut to the chase and say Jeremy Piven or Justin Beiber.

What conspiracy theories do you maybe believe in? I’d like to believe in conspiracy theories, because they all sound so interesting and involved and mysterious, but I think I’m just too lazy.

What”s your favorite insult? Anything with “numb” in front of it is good: Skull, Nuts, etc.

If you were given the opportunity to write a musical biopic about anyone in the world, who would you pick? Someone who would look ridiculous bursting into song, like Gandhi, or Bill O’ Reilly. Or you could do Stephen Hawking and have it all auto-tuned. I’m kind of getting excited about this idea.

Give yourself a nickname, please: Mr. Jim-Jams.