‘Big Brother’ recap: Which jury member returns to the house?

This week I decided to check the Interwebs find out what was happening in the Big Brother house, and though that spoiled any element of surprise for tonight’s show, it was worth it. Given this week’s double competition — half of it dedicated to bringing a jury member back to the show, the other half set to determine who would be HoH — I felt it was better to be prepared.

The competition, which involves hamsters being pelted with balls and hoses while standing on moving platforms (I really wonder if foreign dictatorships refer to this show for torture techniques), starts off strong when Spencer and McCrae are the first to lose their balance. Half of McCranda out!

Because the hamsters aren’t dropping with the necessary speed, furry sports mascots come out to dance. Wasn’t this a level of Dante’s Inferno? The only thing to make this any worse would be actual sports. 

As the competition continues, Helen comes up with a brilliant idea — she may not make it to the end, but one of the four jurors playing will, so why not bring everyone up to speed on who’s a backstabbing scumbag? If she can’t finish her game, someone else might be able to. 

Next, Andy drops, followed by Jessie. Then, Helen loses her balance and drops. Andy is so relieved! He heard her talking game with the other jurors, and golly, he doesn’t want everyone to find out he’s a backstabber! Yeah, I think that cat is out of the bag. 

Finally, Candice’s knees give out and Judd is the juror returning to the game.  Aaryn looks like she’s going to throw up. Still, Judd assures everyone he wants to start a clean slate with everybody. Gosh, I hope not! Where’s the fun in that? 

Alas, Judd is so excited to be back in the house, he also falls. That means it’s down to Gina Marie, Amanda and Elissa. Andy does not want Elissa to win. Really, Judd may be the only one who wants Elissa to win, and possibly Spencer. I think the house just might need to get used to the idea, though, because all that yoga seems to have given Elissa a Spider-Man ability to balance. She actually falls off her platform and pulls herself back onto it. 

Amanda, however, sees weakness. Maybe she can outlast Elissa! Amanda loves the idea of a contest she can win just by standing there, which seems to be the extent of her skill set. It isn’t to be, of course, because Elissa wins it. 

Given that Elissa has no alliances and has been a target since the beginning, this could be a fascinating week. What will she do? Will she form some alliances? Will she make some big moves and make this worth her while, or do what she did at the beginning when she was MVP and pretty much give her advantage away? At this point in the season, a wild card is all you can hope for to keep things interesting.

Aaryn cries in the interview room. She really thinks she’s going home! Elissa hates her! Well, that’s probably true. I don’t think Elissa has forgotten Old Aaryn, who was a regular mean girl before she found her vulnerable, wimpy side. However, I would say Elissa should still take out McCranda first, though I think that’s more about my own distaste for Amanda at this point. Aaryn has won more challenges than either one of them, so this might be the best move after all. 

Amanda doesn’t want to see Elissa’s stoopid HoH room. Does anyone, though? Andy does point out that Elissa’s HoH basket sucks, as it’s all about protein bars and coconut water. 

Amanda feels she can’t control the house and, thus, weeps. She’s so scared! Boo hoo! She whines to McCrae, who, I’m sure, would gladly walk out of the house if $500,000 wasn’t at stake, given how crazy Amanda is making him.  

But that doesn’t stop McCranda from banging away at Elissa with their own agenda. Gina Marie! Gina Marie! Elissa does not appear to be listening, or at least not carefully. Amanda cries. She’s so scared! Elissa stares at Amanda and points out the way she’s feeling this week is how she’s been feeling for two months. I love that Elissa is actually, I think, strategizing. Better yet, she’s not being shy about the fact she’s onto McCranda’s bull. I had had grave doubts about Elissa’s ability to do or think anything that wasn’t dictates by a stronger player, but this is promising.

Then, the all-time weird moment of the week — Aaryn drinks nail polish remover. Apparently, she thought it was her water bottle. I’m not sure how you could mistake a bottle of nail polish remover for water and actually take a good-sized swig, but she does it. Spencer and Andy try to must some sympathy, but you can tell they’d really rather make fun of her. Honestly, words fail about this. Was that a really feeble suicide attempt? Is she that distracted? Does she do this often, and does that account for the Aaryn we’ve gotten to know? So many questions!

Judd talks to Elissa in the HoH room, and a final two alliance is formed — a final two with Amanda in its crosshairs, too. Promising! Now you two, go get Spencer and you just might have a 3am of your own!

Aaryn weedily tells Elissa she’ll make any deal with her she wants. Elissa points out that she’s screwed her over and lied to her at every opportunity, so I don’t think Elissa is taking the offer. Elissa is getting in touch with her inner hard cold bitch, I think. 

Time for nominations!

Judd is safe.

Gina Marie is safe.

Spencer is safe.

Andy is safe.

Amanda is safe.

Mmmm, well, that’s halfway there. She has nominated Aaryn and McCrae instead of McCranda. Aaryn cries. She doesn’t want to go home! If she wins the veto, she won’t — and this might be the time to backdoor Amanda. If you ask me, it just can’t happen soon enough.

What did you think of Elissa’s nominations? Are you glad to see Judd back in the house? Do you think McCranda is in trouble?

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