‘Big Brother’ recap: Will Aaryn turn on her alliance?

08.21.13 6 years ago 22 Comments

While Aaryn may be HoH this week, let’s face it: the house belongs to McCranda. Actually, let’s be honest. The house belongs to Amanda, who apparently has all the hamsters under her sway like the Evil Queen on “Once Upon A Time.” If this were a fairy tale, of course, Amanda would end up bursting into flames or having her heart ripped out. Alas, it isn’t going to happen. But that would be killer ratings, CBS, so don’t rule it out!

Anyway, Helen and Elissa are on the block. Helen would be so worried if she didn’t have a fake final three deal! Which she will sort out far too late for it to make any difference! Elissa feels so sad, but knows she has to fight for the veto. I tune out this statement, as she says this all the time and loses anyway. However, I will have to rewind to see if she has a glint in her eye this time, as Yoga Monster may be in the house. 

Elissa and Helen are not turning on one another, of course, even though they’re on the block together. This is encouraging, though it’s early days, isn’t it? 

Helen talks to Andy, her very close confidant/backstabbing jerk. He feels so out of the loop, he lies! Damn, Andy is the loop. Andy knitted the loop, knotted it and slapped his brand name on it. And yet, Andy is ready to cry thinking of leaving either Helen or Elissa! It’s heartbreaking for him! He has to lie to her! Poor, poor Andy. The hell of being a traitor! 

Amanda and McCrae are making out, so Elissa comes in and flops on the other bed in their room. Amanda is never one to hide her annoyance about anything, but Elissa yaps anyway. She feels as if Helen is blaming her for being on the block. Amanda thinks this is great! Elissa will come to her! She just has to pull her in! Oh, Amanda. Venting is not the same as tossing your only true alliance on the fire. But then, Amanda is starting to believe she is a puppet master surrounded by idiots. Well, actually, she may be mostly right. 

But wait! Elissa thinks Amanda is super manipulative. Amanda does not know this, and thinks when Helen goes, she’ll be there to control Elissa. I think Elissa will nod and smile and conspire to stab Amanda in the back repeatedly until dead. At least that’s my hope. 

Andy tells Spencer he has to fight to win the veto, as Andy sure can’t win it. Then Helen will be mad if he doesn’t use it on her! Andy is working very hard to keep his hands clean, but if he keeps whining to the camera about how hard it is to lie to everyone, I’m going to applaud when he inevitably gets voted out by McCranda. 

Time to pick players for the veto competition! Helen, Elissa, Aaryn and three other hamsters… Gina Marie, Spencer and houseguest choice. Huh. Elissa picks Andy. Helen is disappointed that not only is Spencer playing, but she pulled his name. Oh, Helen. Don’t worry about Spencer. He’s not your problem.  

Helen talks to Andy. Again. She wants to know if he’s heard any rumors about her being the target. I think Helen is starting to figure this out. Andy assures Helen he’d use the veto on her if… well, if he didn’t throw the competition. 

Amanda tells Andy not to throw the competition until Helen and Elissa are out of the competition. Amanda is pissed that he’d even consider screwing up. Doesn’t he know he’s HER SLAVE? Andy thinks he’s damned if he does or damned if he doesn’t. Time for a big pity party for Andy. 

It’s time for the Otev-themed veto competition, which in this case is a weeping beaver. No comment. All the questions are, as usual, about hamsters who’ve already been sent home. 

Round 1: Correct answer is Jeremy. Helen gets it first. Elissa is next. Last is… Gina Marie. Gina Marie is out, which is hardly a surprise. 

Round 2: Correct answer is Judd. Spencer is first. Helen is last! Oh no! Helen is OUT. Amanda cackles. Literally cackles. 

Round 3: Correct answer is Candice. Andy and Elissa battle for last place, and Elissa tackles him like a football defensive end. Andy is out.

Round 4: Correct answer is Howard. Elissa is first, Aaryn is last. It’s down to Spencer and Elissa. 

Round 5: Correct answer is Jessie. C’mon, Elissa! Elissa has it! She’s won the power of veto. Hey, Elissa can win things. Who knew? 

Spencer is so pissed. Amanda thinks Helen is an idiot for being happy about Elissa’s win, of course, but whatever. God, can someone backdoor Amanda? Or drown her in the beaver mud? 

Helen and Elissa do a crazy happy dance. Oh, poor Helen. This is like watching a sad movie in which we all know the main character is going to die but he or she doesn’t realize it yet. Maybe we can get a slow-motion happy dance set to sad music next week. 

Elissa hopes she and Helen can both be safe this week! Elissa won’t be excited until she’s sure Spencer is going home, and Helen assures her he is. But… Helen doesn’t think Andy was trying to win the veto, and it’s a huge red flag. Yes, Helen, it is!

Amanda tells Elissa that Helen is going home in the hopes that Elissa will come closer to her. Amanda is kinda stupid, I think, despite her impressive ability to boss everyone else around. Amanda tells her there’s no way she can save Helen and feels she’s being threatened. 

Helen and Elissa clean the house. Elissa is afraid to tell Helen she’s in danger, because Amanda will come after her. Tell her, Elissa! Still, because Elissa has never had a secret she can’t blab about sideways, Helen is getting a sense she’s trying to tell her she’s the target, not Spencer. 

Helen makes a proposal to Aaryn. Final four with Elissa and Gina Marie. Helen might be open to this. She suspects Amanda and McCrae are running the house. They both start to realize Andy is playing against both of them. Aaryn is getting scared. Helen suggests backdooring Amanda. I would be excited about this, but Aaryn is a fearful player and this almost never works.

Time for wine! And, yes, a fight about that first wine fight, when everyone hated Aaryn. Somehow Amanda can’t leave well enough alone, and Amanda and Aaryn fight. It’s ugly and stupid enough that Aaryn stomps off, and Andy has to assure her they have a tight alliance with McCranda. Andy has almost mopped up the messs when Amanda has to continue the fight. “You made yourself look like the bitch!” she barks at Aaryn. Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely if Amanda was such a jerk Aaryn put her on the block for kicks? I know it won’t happen, but it’s nice to imagine.

Still, Aaryn is entertaining the idea. She does everything Amanda wants, and she’s treating her like crap. Aaryn knows McCranda is going to win. Andy isn’t so sure — but he is sure they’ll get to the end if they stick together, gosh darn it! Aaryn says Amanda has never won anything, and she’s sick of getting bossed around. Maybe it’s time for her to take her game back. Oh, stop taunting us, Aaryn!

Time for the veto. Elissa tells Helen she has her vote, then takes herself off the block. Aaryn, of course, nominates Spencer. Duh. Amanda smirks and, really, is just begging to get backdoored one of these days. But it won’t be this week, it seems. I guess Helen gets her chance to come back next week when one player returns to the house (why do I think the producers will make it a competition Helen will easily win?). At this point, I don’t care who makes it to the final two — as long as one of the players isn’t Amanda.

Who do you think will win? Do you think Helen has a chance at saving herself? Were you disappointed that Aaryn didn’t make a big move against Amanda?

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