Blart Attack: The internet is destroying ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’

You might guess that “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” is the cinematic equivalent of a greasy paper plate that should be wadded up and thrown away outside a Sbarro, and you, sir or madam, are a good guesser.

Critics and Twitter pundits agree that the new Kevin James flick is bad for humankind. But there's an upside here: Hilarious comments about bad movies are good for humankind. We've rounded up ten good (and/or just irreverent) takedowns of “PBMC2” and ranked them for your disgusted pleasure.

10. The philosophical take.

“This oft-ridiculed screen giant is here to answer a question that has plagued mankind for decades now: what would a film be like if every single person involved made as little effort as humanly possible?”  

Tom Huddleston, Time Out London 

9. Does Blart imitate life?

“[Paul Blart] is barely anything at all; a stereotype of a stereotype; a half-remembered punchline; a stomach with a mustache and wheels.”

Robbie Collin, The Telegraph

8. Paul Blart is not (hilariously) (un-) funny (enough) (ever).

This wisp of a plot is just an excuse for James to do his one trick over and over: Bluster, then screw up humiliatingly. Is it never funny? No, it”s not never funny. It”s just not funny nearly often enough.”

Sara Stewart, NY Post 

7. It's a joke for now, but I bet we'll get a “Paul Blart 3” set in the Old West.