‘Booty’ Ban: 5 things more offensive than J. Lo and Iggy rubbing butts on the AMAs

Iggy Azalea and J. Lo are performing their song “Booty” at this year's American Music Awards, ABC and Dick Clark Productions announced today. The only caveat, according to TMZ's “spies”? They're forbidden from actually rubbing butts. Or showing crack! Dirty, nasty crack. We won't stand for it.

I don't get this, personally. Here are 5 things more offensive than the thought of J. Lo and Iggy rubbing their giant butts together on national television.

1. The song “Booty.”

First, some sample lyrics: “Big, big booty/What you got a big booty/Work/Big, big booty/What you got a big booty/Shake that/Big, big booty.”

And from our favorite Southern (hemisphere) rapper Iggy: “Ya'll know what I've been on, ya'll know that I've been on/I'm queen big booty, Iggy, now find me a bone to sit on/Girls with the cheeks, put 'em hands in the air/Then pop that, pop that, let 'em know that you there.”

Just…all of this. It's like “Anaconda” but EVEN MORE OBVIOUS.

2. The “Booty” music video.

YouTube commenter La Casita sums it up best: “Are you serious!? 1st it was anaconda! Now BOOTY!? You artist are making us girls feel like we're not great unless we have the body or the butt it's like really you guy's are acting likes real idiots right now making stupid songs just stop it already your fans are just decreasing by the songs! You need to get a life! What would your parents be like right now!? And Iggy just stop ft. In people's songs and just stick with fancy! YOU ALL NEED TO STOP BEING STUPID IDIOTS AND GET A LIFE!”

She has a point.

3. J. Lo's alter-ego “Roxy.”

First of all, that name. Roxy. What fictional character could have inspired this, I wonder? I am stunned by J. Lo's deep pop-cultural knowledge. But anyway, here she is. Roxy! She's spicy, she wears black, she smokes and she's about as edgy as the 2009 Renee Zellweger rom-com “New In Town.”

4. Iggy Azalea's sudden ubiquitousness.

As far as I can tell, Iggy's entire persona is basically a more empowered version of Taryn Manning's character in “Hustle & Flow.”

5. The fact that it took ten people to write this song.

Here they are, the credited writers on “Booty”: Jennifer Lopez, Corey Rooney, Benny Medina, Chris Brown, Pitbull, Asia Bryant, Lewis D. Gittus, Tedra Renee Wilson, Danny Omerhodic and Diplo. I can't confirm this, but Chris Brown allegedly got a credit for walking aggressively through the recording studio.